


Love wasn't made for me and you

by Sppielles



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hatred, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mild Gore, Pining, Self-Doubt, Suspicions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sppielles/pseuds/Sppielles
Summary: Black Mesa is gone, but problems from it still linger. Benrey tries to get Gordon to like him back, and the science team helps him along the way as best as they can.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 191





	1. Starting hard

It all came to an end.

Black Mesa was finally just a horrible nightmare and no longer a haunting reality. Losing his hand, the clones, the fight with Benrey, it was all over. All left behind after the party ended.

Gordon was anxious the whole time, his mind asking if he was even in the same reality as he used to live in. Tommy assured him that it was all back to ,,normal". As normal as you could get with his life. They all said their goodbyes, after who knows how long, and split their ways after promising to keep in touch. Tommy went with his dad and Sunkist, all of them disappearing inside a blacklimousine , Dr. Coomer held Bubbys hand as he started to lead the way to his house, and Gordon... went with the skeleton.

He saw it in the corners of his vision. It switfly shuffled along with him, bones knocking against eachother, slowly breaking and contorting into hard spike like appendages. He didn't have it in him to turn around and face it. He also had no clue why of all the science team he was the one that it fallowed. His luck from Black Mesa still seemed to hold onto him. Gordon walked faster when he would start to see the skeleton more clearly, it would then turn it's skull towards him, burning holes into Gordons head with its stare, and then thankfully slow down, seemingly getting the message.

That countinued until they started to get closer to Gordons neighborhood. He then stopped and shivered as he heard the skeleton, scraped bones coming to a stop few meters behind him filling the empty street with silence. Just the fact that it was waiting for his next move made hair at the back off Gordons neck stand. He thought only for a second before running as fast as he could, taking more complex shortcuts to lose the skeleton. His muscles ached from all the workout they had to go thru in the past few days but the adrenalin kept him light on his feet. Gordon rushed up towards the building he lived in, stopping at the huge metal fence that separated it from the street. He grabbed the handle to open the fence and quickly looked behind him. A sob pushed its way out of his lungs as the skeleton was nowhere to be seen. Pushing the fence open he walked towards the broken down building, not caring to close the gate behind him. The walls had dents in them from the parts falling away of old age, handles at the main door were worn down with clear signs of daily usage. He climed up the dusty stairs, his footsteps echoed thru the halls. The silence started to bore into his being. There was always noise in Black Mesa, some machines humming, voices far away but still too close for liking. The silence was... just weird. Gordon stopped at the third floor and begged that noone will be awake at this time to see him. Hell, he only knew that it had to be late because of the moon that shined thru the clouds. He pushed forward until he found a long hallway filled with doors. His legs almost gave out underneath him as he walked towards the back off the hallway, counting his luck as he crouched down in front of the last door and reached under the doormat.

Gordon almost forgot how his appartment looked after all that time in Black Mesa. He stepped inside, his foot crushing letters that were laying on his floor for God knows how long, and sharply closed the door behing him. Pictureframes shook gently from the impact, threatening to fall.

He was home.

Actually _home_. Not in a dorm at that cursed facility.

He thanked his past self for leaving a spare key under the doormat. If it wouldn't be there, he would have to break the door down and he wasn't really in the mood to deal with his neighbors. His hand blindly searched for the light switch, bumping into something and knocking it onto the ground. He let out a hiss as he heard it break. Judging from the noise it made he knew he had glass peaces all over his floor. _Great_. Gordon found the light switch and begged whatever was listening to him that he won't see the skeleton inside here, or a stupid clone, or... Benrey. He shook his head at his own stupidity and turned on the light.

A disheveled looking room welcomed him, pizza boxes laying on the kitchen counter along with some more letters, one of them being completly red with the same mark that he had on his HEV suit. A controller covered with dust layed on his grey couch that was in front of a small coffee table and his TV. Normally he would make a disgusted face and comment about his nasty habbits, but after all that happened this felt like heaven. His feet carried him more into his appartment as he almost ran to his bathroom.

Gordon locked himself in, gripped the sides of his sink and looked into the mirror. He looked worse than he thought. His hands started to pull at the HEV suit, unclasping and realising him from that God forsaken prison. Stripping completly, he pushed himself inside his shower, the HEV suit peaces laying all over the floor.

He stayed in there for a long time, letting the water wash away all the grime and relax his tense muscles. His breath caught in his throat as he stared down. Red collored water filled the drain, continuing for much longer than Gordon wanted. He forced himself to stop staring as he felt all the junk food he ate at the patry rush towards his throat, occupying himself instead with ripping his hair tie off and struggling with his messy, tied together hair. He closed his eyes and let his thoughts roam free as he tried to collect himself after all that happened.

Ok, great.

First things first, he was still alive, he had his hand back, he was... Safe? Some of what safe.

He still felt paranoid after all that time being haunted and something in him didn't want to let go of the thought that someone was _still_ following him. Hell, he might just walk out of the bathroom and see the skeleton sitting there, just waiting to rush up to him and dig its sharp fingers into his skin and tear it, piece by piece. Little by little until his own bones would start to show thru the ripped flesh.

Gordon tugged at his hair and swore, almost banging his head on the wall as his paranoia got the better of him.

What if he will not see the skeleton, just a bright and safe looking room. Nothing out of the ordinary, his own house. He would just think everything is fine, but no. It never fucking is, and it's all because of _**him**_. **_He_** got him paranoid, _**he**_ got him scared now. Gordon didn't care that one time he got to see the guy act normal, that he shared a nice moment with him. Because of him Gordon would have to go to therapy now, and how the hell do you explain what happened in Black Mesa without being taken in as an insane person. Gordon at this point had no clue if he was voicing his complains out loud untill he started to get lightheaded.

He coughed and quickly pulled away from the shower spray, rubbing his eyes and trying to catch his breath.

"Fucking piece of shit”, he uttered between coughs. Did he really almost drown himself out of anger?"Benrey...”

He opened his eyes and quickly scouted out the area near him, hoping that noone saw the embarrassing thing he just did. Gordon let out a shuddering breath only to look down at his hands coated with blood.

Wait, blood?!

Bits of bodies were lying on the floor replacing the HEV suit parts that he roughly threw there. Tiles were covered in blood. He rubbed his eyes again trying to snap out of it only to open them and be back at Black Mesa.

First thing he realized is that this wasn't his body. He wasn't in a body at all, just... sort of floating. He heard a conversation happening below him, but nothing could prepare him for seeing himself standing there. Right in front of the room that he hoped he would never have to see again.

"Wanna go in?”

_He did not..._

"Please?”

 **He is living thru this hell again.** Science team was standing around him with Benrey and Bubby at the entrance to the room. Gordon saw his past self walking into that cursed room and he wanted to scream. He quickly found out that he couldn't turn around, he couldn't look away. As the lights went out he shut his eyes as hard as he could and fought againts whatever was holding him. He choked out a broken sound as the screaming started. He could hear everything...

The knife hitting a bone and with great force slashing thru it. The horrified yelp that came from Tommy and slowly morphed into sobbing as Dr. Coomer tried calming him down. Both Bubbys and Benreys surprised voices.

Humming.

...

He doesn't remember humming.

Gordon cautiously opened his eyes as the low voice drowned out his pain filled screaming. He looked out into the darkness that has consumed, frantically looking for the source of the noise. His eyes started to close on their own as he fought againts it. Right before he passed out he saw a pair of cold, blue eyes staring at him, right at his soul.

**_"Doctor Freeman~”_**

__

He gasped as his eyes shot open. He was sitting down, warm water spraying his head. Back at his house. The pathetic sounds pushed their way out of his throat before he could stop them. _Christ_. He moved his right hand. Clench, unclench, clench... He couldn't tell how much time he spend in his shower, mumbling gibberish that sounded more and more like a cry for help, half laying in there on the floor and letting all the surpressed emotions go. He must have passed out. Explainable enough, right? 

__

Gordon turned off the water when it finally let go of its red colour and pulled himself up, already felling a headache coming from all the weeping. He was still crying when he looked at himself in the mirror again.

__

His eyes were slightly red making his green eyes look like they were glowing. The bags under his eyes had darkened and made his eyes look sunken. His cheek were red and his cheek bones were showing much more than he remembered. He brought up his right hand and gently grasped it with his left one. His thumb trailed across a scar that left an almost white mark around his wrist.

_"I- I'm going to fucking lose my... my mind”, Gordon mumbled, his voice hoarse from his earlier vocalizations. He clenched his right hand again and shivered."Therapy will not fix any of this. Goddamn beyond repair”._

He dressed himself in the clothes from his loundry basket. Much rather smell like sweat than blood. He left the HEV suit behind, kicking a small part of it out of the bathroom as it got in his way. He thought about going to sleep on his bed, but that seemed way to far away right now. Couch would be just fine. He laid down, groaning from the sudden comfort of something soft. Much better than the floor at Black Mesa. For the first time in a while he finally fell asleep knowing that he doesn't have to fight for his life again.

__

Probably.

__


	2. Not a warm welcome

Apparently convincing Dr. Coomer to let him stay was much easier than Bubby thought. He half expected him to dissagre for some reason. Now, that Dr. Coomer holding his hand and guiding him to his house, he feels sort of dumb by thinking like that. 

Of course he would let him stay, he's his goddamn friend. Well, Bubby considers him something more than that, but he would faster eat his shoes than say it out loud. He knows the other will agree but the burning feeling of embarrassment still holds him down. It's not for the reason that he is scared of being regected or something like that. Dr. Coomer is nice and sweet, and caring even when Bubby is acting up. He is someone that he can relay on, someone he can trust with his life. 

Bubby got pulled out of his train of thought as Dr. Coomer squeezed his hand. He focused on the shorter man before, his eyes following his hand as it pointed at the rather huge looking house in front of them.

"Here we are!”

"Damn”,Bubby ended at that. He thought long and hard about what to say, but he only could repeat himself. 

That answer seemed to satisfy Dr. Coomer anyway. He pushed forward, leaving Bubby frowning a little as he already started to miss his warmth, and punched a hole thru the door, unlocking it from the inside. Stepping aside he let Bubby enter first, not missing a chance to slightly lean forward and tip an invisible hat at him to welcome him ,,gentleman style". Bubby went inside after playfully hitting Dr. Coomer on the shoulder, which earned him a chuckle. 

The inside looked much... less like he imagined? He thought there would be holes in the walls from punches, some dumbbells lying everywhere, but he only saw a rather standard looking living room and some clothing hangers near the door. He flinched as Dr. Coomer suddenly wrapped an arm around his shoulder to pull him down to his level. "You make yourself nice and comfortable, professor. I'll go and make us something to drink!” With that he let go of the other scientist and dissapered deeper into the house. Bubby heard him chuckle again as he must have heard his angry huff and a muttered ,, doctor " under his breath.

He stood there for a second. Thjs house really didn't look like it belonged to Dr. Coomer. He took off his coat, hanged it up, and sat on the couch stretching from all the walking they had to do to get here. He hummed as he heard his back crack a little, sending warm sparks down his body. Dr. Coomer lived a rather long way from Chuck e. Cheese, and pretty far away from Black Mesa now that he thought about it. One thing for sure is that this looked and felt much more like an actual home than the dorms that they were each assigned to. This place had more rooms and even an upstairs. Much better. It still made Bubby wonder how long it will take him to get used to this life, away from Black Mesa, a place that literally created him, and away from the constant work he had to do. He guessed that it was nice now that he didn't have to wake up at stupid hours to work his ass off. Also, he could spend much more time with Dr. Coomer now. Get even closer to him.

All thanks to the fuck up that Gordon did...

Right, Gordon. Did the guy even remember where he used to live? That shouldn't be so hard to remember, but he looked more out of it at the party than after getting his hand cut off, which was concerning. Bubby shivered at that. It was in the past now, Gordon forgave him and Benrey. Well, maybe him only. It looked like he still has some things to work out with benrey, but he couldn't care less. Benrey's problem, not his. Also, there's no way that those ,, problems " will even get to be worked out, with benrey being dead and all. Unless Gordon wants to jog up to the disaster that Black Mesa was left as and speak to the rubble, hoping that it would somehow get to Benrey. Gordons stupid but not that stupid. 

"I do hope that you aren't planing on setting my table on fire with your mind, Dr. Bubby!”, Coomer chimed in, almost making his jump,"You look mighty concentrated.”

Dr. Coomer placed two cups and a kettle full with tea next to them. Bubby looks at him for a moment before turning his head away slightly.

"I wasn't thinking about it, but now that you mention it, I can do that”. He grabs his cup as Coomer finishes pouring him tea.

'I fully know you can”, he chuckles, "If that wasn't your first thought then what were you thinking about?”

"Just... about what happened and all. It was fucked up. And maybe about what happened to Tommy and Gordon, not that I care much anyway.”

"Well, we can check up on them in the morning. I have both of their phone numbers!”

”"If Gordon didn't leave his phone at Black Mesa like a dumbass.”

They sat in silence for a long time after that, it was a comfortable kind of silence, just enjoying each others company. Similar moments happened back then, before Gordon fucked up and after that also. Just sitting and relaxing, be it on a hard floor that they had to sleep on as they tried to escape, or a nice couch that Bubby smuggled into his room. They could sit together for hours and never get bored. Dr. Coomer would then look up from what he was doing to gaze into the other's eyes and smile, that sweet smile that made him seem much younger. Sometimes Bubby would man up and even scoot himself closer to Dr. Coomer, accidenly graze his hand, maybe even lean on him a little. On accident, of course. He would also insist that he was only getting red because the AC wasn't working and he was getting hot. Not because Dr. Coomer would gently grab his hand and lean back on him as well. They also wouldn't do it now, he isn't doing that again. _No, that's stupid_ , he thinks as he lays his head onto Dr. Coomers shoulder. _Very unlikely_. He could just daze off like this, but something in him still needed reassurance.

"Not that I don't appreciate this, but why did you accept to help me?”. Bubby waited patiently for the answer, getting more and more anxious every second. He was about to apologise for that stupid question before Dr. Coomer let go of his hand. Fuck, fuck , _fuck_. He closed his eyes as the hand landed on his shoulder instead, pulling him even closer.

"Why wouldn't I, Dr. Bubby? We are partners after all, and partners help each other!"

Partners, huh? Why is Coomer better at this than he is?

"Still, I do hope that you know how greatly I appreciate this, Dr. Coomer”. Let's ignore how fast he said that. He doubted for a moment that the other even understood him before getting pulled even closer.

"You can call me Harold if you want, Bubby.”

He felt a smile tug itself onto his face and he let it happen, relaxing again. It was even more pleasant now, his happiness pushing down on the embarrassment and his doubts. He let his head rest near Harolds neck, almost nuzzling it, and the others hand gently rubbed his shoulder. 

Gordon will be fine. He doesn't need to worry about him.

Low grumblig of thunder pulled him out of his sleep, making him open one eye just to prove to himself that he in fact is still alive. One part of him hoped that he wasn't, that he maybe died in there and he is stuck in some sort of limbo. He groaned and lazily rolled over to his side, avoiding being blinded by white lights above him as he was to paranoid to turn them off. Now every foreign noise or shadows in the corners of his vision made him act like a scared, caged animal. Defensless and vulnerable, waiting for something to pounce. He didn't like to feel that way, so lights stayed on. Unfortunately there wasn't a quick and easy way to get rid of his other problems, like something telling him deep within that he may not be alone. He kept pushing that down until he fell asleep, and now he laid there, his breaths coming in short puffs and his heartbeat drowning out every noise as it heavily drummed in his ears. That wasn't caused by thunder, but by another rather nasty nightmare. He could only thank whatever the fuck is torturing him that this one didn't lead to him having a pathetic breakdown. Jesus, he so heavily hoped that no one heard that. The walls in this place have some mighty good ears, so he can stop praying. 

That is the only thing he didn't miss about this place, his pesky neighbors. At Black mesa noone cared if you weeped hard enough to lose your voice. Now he knows that tomorrow he will get a not wanted visit from one of them, asking if he's alright just to poke their head in and comment about the state of his house like they always did. Lovely, that's what he needs right now.

His complaining was cut off by lights flickering above his head, making him jump and slightly curl into himself. This week has to be to worst one in his entire life. Was it even a week? How long were they stuck in Black Mesa? _Questions for future Gordon to put together,_ he thought as his eyelids became heavy. 

At least now he's back home. On the sticky couch, maybe safe. Gordon snapped his eyes open and quickly sat up, suddenly feeling too awake. What the hell did he sleep on that he feels sticky? He looked back at the gray couch cushions and squinted. They seem to look normal enough. 

He patted them down with his hand, regretting his decision almost instantly as the material pulled back with it, sticking to it almost like slime. Gordon gasped and tried to desperately pull away. He hissed in pain as he felt it wrap up his hand, feeling like his skin was melting off where the substance touched him. It tightly curled around his fingers with near bone crushing strength and pulled the hand back down, yanking him down with it and punching out a pained growl out of his throat. Gordon landed on his elbow with knit together brows, holding back a shout. He looked back towards his hand as gurgling sounds filled his ears, blinking away the tears that clouded his vision.

The pain lessened, the boiling hot substance becoming much less hurtfull to touch. His eyes poped open as much as the could when he noticed something emerging from his now almost ink black couch cushions, pushing his hand up with it before it solidified itself. It, now much more gently, curled around his hand, intertwining its long fingers with his. The warmth it was emitting felt almost inviting and pleasant.

"Wh- What the fuck..? What the fuck”. Gordon kept gently trying to pry the thing off of himself, pulling back only to have the ,,hand " pull back with him.

It extended itself, looking more and more like an actual arm insted of a dark blob. He kept pulling back until he sat down, hand still holding him and pulling something else with itself. Before he had any time to react the black ooze catapulted onto his shoulder, quickly solidifying to mirror the appearance of the other hand. He yelped and gripped the thing by what he assumed must have been its wrist and squeezed as hard as he could, his strength being fueled on by the blind need to survive. A similar sounding voice, albeit almost drowned out by instense bubbling noises, cried out in pain, both hand letting Gordon go to scratch at the couch. 

Without wasting his chance he kicked back at the closest hand and almost tripped over himself trying to crawl away. Another pain filled sound roared from within the substance as he sharply turned to run to his kitchen. Knives probably won't do much but its better than attacking that thing with nothing but his fists. Gordon paused, his hand moments away from touching the handle of the cleaver, and listened. The sound died down to what sounded like whining and mostly noises that Joshua would make when he didn't get his way. He grabbed the knife anyway and slowly peeked around the corner. From here he could only see the back off the couch, he frowned as the damage to it seemed to be bigger than he thought. 

He stayed there and stared for what felt like hours, the clock ticking almost like it was counting down his last moments. Switching the knife to his right hand he decided to step closer as he could almost not make out anymore sound, and prayed to god that this is only another one of his nightmares, that he would wake up and it would be all fine. That flew out the window as a grey looking hand gripped the back off the couch. Few curses reached his ears and he almost dropped the knife in disbelief. _That sounded..._

"Mgh...”. For all that is holy please. "Piece of shit, goddamn, ow.”

They both froze looking at each other, Gordon's green eyes at Benrey's almost fully yellow ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In here you can easily tell that I have no clue how to write Coomer's and Bubby's reliationship, but I tried. More Gordon/Benrey in next chapter


	3. Friend or foe

In the past few days Gordon has seen a lot and been through a lot. His sanity was being kept together by thin threads and he was certain that his hair has prematurely grayed a bit out of stress.

Black Mesa was the cause of it all of course.  
At the beginning he used to have some sort of trigger discipline, no one needed to be shot if they weren't a threat. Reasonable enough. Things changed around him faster then he anticipated and that turned out to be the first thing he lost. His empathy was almost non existing at the end, threatening others and getting rid of people that were witnesses to his actions. Getting anger issues also seemed to be on the list.  
He was being played with the whole time by onemonstrousabomination that tugged at his nerves and waited for him to snap. It blended in seamlessly with its sick game of pretend, and it would have stayed with him until his grave if they have not beaten it. 

Gordon had no clue if Benrey possesed someone or just created a vessel that might come off human enough to not raise any awareness. The next question is if he did that only to follow Gordon around like a lost puppy. Half of him drawled on that the entire party, half of him was too focused on everything else to care even in the slightest.

  
Maybe at first he cared, but that also was lost along the way. The contract that Black Mesa welcomed him with was explainable enough; the job wasn't for someone weak mentally or physically. Gordon soon found out that he might have pulled through so long only because he kept to himself, no one needed to listen to his worries and that was fine, but everyone has their breaking point. His one came when the green lights blinded him.

  
That point unlocked a new part of his life, one that he wished he didn't survive. Of course he's happy that he is still alive, but there's rot inside him that is quickly spreading and infecting him in other ways. Therapy seems like something he can only laugh at now. He doubts that he can even say anything without being assasinated the next day. What could he say anyway? How can anyone wipe out the things that are now engraved in his mind?  
The constant fear that followed him back home, same as that skeleton apparently, making him keep looking over his shoulder. Darkness, that now only reminded him of the worst things he ever felt in his life along side the burning sensation of gun wounds, but the stares towered over everything. Those lifeless eyes that shined with a dull light, reminding him of the gun he was holding and the bullets he shot. He unfortunately got used to having those eyes on him. Corpses were laying everywhere they went, so he kept everything in, no matter all the white corridors they walked through that were crudely painted with crimson splashes. He got used to seeing a lifeless face leaning over, covered in it's own guts. Faces being gnawed at by face huggers and heads almost completely ripped off away from their manteled bodies.

  
The thing is that everyone knows that corpses aren't supposed to be alive. They are supposed to be laying somewhere, not breathing, not moving. Just wasting away.

  
One corpse was now having a staring contest with him.

  
His stomach turned and he felt burning at the back of his throat, the nausea being accompanied by a strong migraine that made him too drowsy to keep himself fully straight. Those eyes focused on his form, sizing him up and staring deep into his soul. He doesn't remember them being so yellow and... feline like.

  
"Missed me much?” 

  
Gordon felt a shiver crawl it's way up his back as Benrey's hoarse voice reached his ears. His heartbeat spiked when he noticed Benrey's teath, they shined in a pathetic attempt to smugly grin. They were pointy, unhuman like and looked sharp.

  
Benrey seemed to overall look much more feral, apparently abandoning his former weak form for a much more sturdy one. His blue uniform shirt was no longer loosely hanging aroung his arms, it stretched with his muscles and looked close to ripping. Normally his hands were rather huge with long fingers, but they now seemed to change into claws. They shined in the bright lights of his living room, being covered in the same black ooze that was trying to pull Gordon down a second ago, sizzling as if they were burning his flesh. Benrey's skin looked more unhealthy, pale grey replacing its former colour. This form seemed very familiar.

  
Gordon shamlesly took everything in with his eyes, until his mind finally clicked with a realization; the guard looked much more like his stronger form he used in Xen. The only thing missing is his skeleton army. Gordon momentarily wondered if he was stuck like that, or if he came to him looking like this on purpose, aiming to finish what he couldn't achive in his reality. It would be easier for him now. Gordon was defensless, long ago taken off his HEV suit that might have protected him even a little in this scenario. Having a gun would help too, but it wouldn't matter. If killing Benrey back then only slowed him down for not even a day, then shooting him in the head won't do much. He is stuck inside his house with a predator, and he's the helpless prey.

  
He was pushed out of his train of thought when he noticed something odd about Benrey, how he no longer kept eye contact with him. Now it seemed like he was avoiding his eyes as if his life depended on it, going as far as turning his head away. Also, he kept awkwardly shifting, even shivering under Gordon's stare.

  
"Got a crush on me or something, bro? Gonna kiss me or just keep on staring, all weirdo like.” 

  
Gordon backed up until his back hit the wall, no longer capable of keeping himself on his feet. The ground beneath him felt as if it was moving, slipping. He grounded himself by closing his eyes, almost knocking off his glasses when he reached up to cover his face with his hand. The dizziness overpowered him. He swayed a little and thru the gaps between his fingers he could see Benrey jolting up, like he wanted to reach out and break his fall.

  
"Don't. Do. _Not_ ”, Gordon slurred and reached out to stop him, "Don't get close to me.” 

  
Benrey probably for the first time ever listened to him, only turning so he was face to face with Gordon. His eyes went back to the whole nothing-phases-me stare and Gordon felt his blood boil.

  
"How... H-How are you? How the fuck are you here?!” 

  
"Yo, bro. I'm right here. You don't have to yell.” 

  
"Answer me then! You're not supposed to be here at all! You should be dead, being anywhere but not here.” 

  
"It's not that serious, dude. And I'm better now.” 

  
"... Benrey, you don't just become better after people kill you." 

  
"Yeah but I do. I'm not a weakling like you. You have to sleep and all. Lil' Gordon Weakman.” 

  
Benrey made another attempt to move closer, putting his arms in front of himself to lean forward and start the staring contest all over again. This time Gordon noticed his pupils expanding as his eyes grew half lidded.  
Like a cat.

  
"Whuh?” Gordon only now realized that he might have said the last part out loud.

  
"Nothing, you piece- You know what? No. I won't interact with you. This is just a nightmare and I'll wake up, and you won't be there.” 

  
"Booo... Not even a nice dream, bro? C'mon, dude, I wouldn't do you like that. I'm nice.” 

  
"Like hell you are.” 

  
"I am super nice. Extra sweet. And, uhm like, not a nightmare. You're totally awake right now.” 

  
"I find it hard to believe. This is just- I don't know, another halucination caused by stess. All I know is that you aren't-” 

  
A pillow knocked his glasses off of his face before he got to finish that sentance. He squinted his eyes, still hardly seeing anything but it was enough to notice Benrey reaching for another pillow. It hit the wall behind him as he ducked out of its way.

  
"Still don't believe me?” 

  
"I don't want to believe you! You should be dead! Why can't you let me have anything?! I never wanted to see your face ever again!”, Gordon yelled and watched as Benrey's smile fell, "Knowing that you won't come back was the best thing in the world and you had to ruin it! Why the hell are you here?!” 

  
Benrey mumbled his answer, falling back on the couch to stare at the ceiling. He felt glad now that Gordon couldn't see his face.

  
"What?” 

  
"I said that I don't know.” 

  
"How can you not know?! Jesus, you're the most annoying person I ever met! I can't even call you a person can I? You're some sort of a fucked up monster.” 

  
Silence filled the living room, heavy enough that even Gordon became slightly uncomfortable. He stared down at the floor, squinting his eyes when he saw what looked like feathers beneath his feet. Did he somehow cut through the pillow? A groan punched its way out of him. Great. That was his only good one. The rest were accidentally decorated with coffee stains or they smeeled like beer.

  
"You're the annoying one.” 

  
"I'm the annoying one?” Gordon's eyes flew back to look at the couch, teeth gritting together as he tried to keep his composure. 

  
"Yeah.” 

  
"So I'm the one that shows up randomly at someone's apartment? Out of the blue? I'm the one that got someone's hand cut off just because?” 

  
"You're still on that hand shit, bro. God damn stubborn, not wanting to forget.” 

  
\- How exactly can I forget that?”, he laughed deliriously, throwing his hands up in disbelief. "Explain, how can I just forget that when I can't even turn off the light without pissing myself in fear? Huh, Benrey?” 

  
The former guard sighed and sat back up, glancing towards Gordon before his brows knit in confusion. He should have noticed it quicker. How has he not noticed it quicker? His feet touched the ground and Gordon expected a lot from him, but he definitely didn't expect him to just walk through his couch like it wasn't even there. It didn't even budge. His focus was quickly moved to Benrey as he made his way towards him in big steps. He said something along the lines of ,, don't you fucking dare " and much more distraught ,, stop, please " before Benrey's mouth twisted into a fine line; The knife was pointed straight at his chest, a silent threat to remind him that Gordon may actually go through with this if pushed hard enough.

  
How has he not noticed? Gordon was literally holding the knife with that hand now. His former gun hand. When did he get it back? How? Did it just disappear after they escaped? There was a scar around his wrist, clearly visible. So it didn't just grow back. Humans can't even do that, can they? Someone had to fix it.

  
A stressed hum met his ears and he looked up, his eyes meeting much terrified looking ones. Oh no, he's doing it again. It was going so well.

  
"Uhm". Play it cool, benrey. "You- You got your hand back. That's... dope.” 

  
Gordon blinked at him a couple of times, his brain trying to work something out as fast as it could while it was clouded with fear. Benrey took the moment of silence as premission to look back to his hand, explore a bit. It looked identical to his old one. Not that he was staring at his hands a lot before or anything like that. It held the knife weakly, almost like Gordon was having trouble controlling it completly to squeeze properly. His eyes expanded as he looked down at the knife handle, seeing it drenched in blood that slowly dripped on the floor.

  
He reached his hand out only for Gordon to snap out of his trance and thrust the knife towards Benrey, almost nicking his finger.

  
"Hey”, his tone sounded much to forceful than he intended.

  
"Get the hell away. Back wherever you came from, or something.” 

  
"Bro, I'm trying to help.” 

  
"You, of all the people, I don't want help from, Benrey. You would help by going back to being dead.” 

  
Another too familiar pain filled pang went through his chest. He didn't need to hear that again. He hoped that it was just fury speaking through Gordon, but the more he reapeted it, the more he felt sorrow gnawing at him. Now he could only thank himself for this kind of behavior he was getting. Something in him still persisted and he pressed onward, stepping even closer to Gordon until the sharp end of the knife dug into his vest. Fixing this thing between them won't be easy but God dammit will he try.

  
From Gordon slouched forward position Benrey seemed to tower over him. Getting closer only made it worse. His mind screamed at him to push the knife when it came in contact with the dark vest. It wouldn't do much considering the strength he now had in his arm, but it would have proved a point he was trying to get through Benrey's thick skull the entire time.

  
God, he didn't even know how long they were at it. All he knew is that he was getting more and more tired every second and Benrey was taking advantage of that. So here they were, pressed together with only two feet separating them, sharp claws at Benrey's sides and an equally sharp knife pressed right below his unprotected collarbones. Gordon could aim the knife higher, but getting blood all over the mess on the floor won't do much. It probably won't even hurt the former guard, only spur on his attack. He would need to knock him out or at least weaken him for a moment to change their positions. Knife won't do, pressing it into his throat would only shock him, not stun him.

  
His green eyes flickered between his hand and Benrey's face, which looked much more... concerned. He has never seen him like this, surprisingly vulnerable and open, his eyes almost looking soft if it wasn't for the ominous yellow glow they emitted. Gordon closed his eyes in defeat, sighing and agreeing with the stupid side of his brain, instead of his logical one. He'll hate himself if this won't work.

  
The knife drew back and Benrey almost overflowed with relief. His stare dropped to look at Gordon's hand. First mistake.

  
A hefty blow came straight for his jaw, knocking a shocked noise out of him as well as knocking him off of his balance. He stumbled, but quickly cought himself before he fell. His hand shot up to his aching jaw, he hissed as it came in contact with it. Still, not broken, thankfully. Benrey looked back to where Gordon was a second ago only to be met with just the wall that he pressed him to. Right now Gordon was already behind the couch, his legs in a position that clearly made it easy to run away, knife almost falling out of his hand. All the energy used up on that punch. Benrey's second mistake; trusting Gordon in this situation. He huffed and spread his legs out a bit, if Gordon wanted a chase he will get one. Benrey will fix this, but that asshole will need to relax and listen for him to begin.

  
"That wasn't very nice, man”. He clenched his hands to hide the claws. Not needed if this will work.

  
"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to. Hey, have you heard of personal space? Especially towards people you were trying to kill?!” 

  
Frustration seemed to throw him off enough. Less work for him. Benrey smacked his lips and leaned forward. Next second all that was heard was furniture sliding and Gordon's surprised scream.

  
Gordon's head throbbed as he laid under his oppressor, whining when the pain worsened. His hands were pined in a vice grip under Benrey's, those claws leaving marks on the wooden floor. Knife lying far away from him. The weight on his stomach increased and he hissed, thrashing around to try and throw Benrey off. That only made the hands grip harder, stopping only when he ceased his worthless tries. The former guard casted a shadow over him, completely blocking out the lamp and lighting the space around then with that yellow glow.

  
"Gotcha”, Benrey chuckled, and that only left Gordon feeling more unsafe. He refuses to look up into those eyes. "Now”, some weight was lifted of off him while Benrey slouched down some more. From his position Gordon couldn't see what he was doing, he could only stare at his chest and a part of his arms. He jolted a little when he felt something cold touch his wound. As he clenched his hand into a fist Sweet voice soon started to float around them. Lime green. "Here, you little bitch baby. You won't bleed out.” 

  
"The fuck did you do? What does the green mean?” "Lime green is a healing beam. That hard to guess, huh? 'thought you had a- uh PDH or something, Mr. Smartman.” 

  
"It's a PhD and yes I have it, you prick. Why did you do that for?” 

  
"I don't want to you bleed 'n shit. It looked like it hurt and, uhmmm... that's bad. I don't wanna see my bro hurt.” 

  
"Aha? Since when?”, Gordon cocked his brow. His little moment got silenced by a drawn out, frustrated groan from Benrey that continued for a stupid amount of time. The former guard even dramatically leaned his head back and incresed his volume, when he heard Gordon trying to say something, causing Gordon to roll his eyes and wait out the tantrum. Benrey ended it by pressing his thumbs down into the centers of Gordon's palms, rubbing in small circles as he lifted some pressure of off his wrists.

  
"I'm trying to help, bro. Please, God dammit, let me, ok? Please. Please?” 

  
That tone he used shocked Gordon all on it's own, but the look Benrey gave him as he stared back down at him moved something inside his chest. The yellow in his eyes was almost completly covered by dark pupils, fully dilated to the point that Gordon could see his own reflexion in them. Benrey's mouth formed into a pout that only increased the longer he waited for the answer. Brows still tightly knit together, bringing the whole sad look to completion.

  
Right now he stared back at himself in those eyes, fully succumbing to the feeling that spread out across his body and allowing himself to relax.

  
"Ok, fine. If you want to help then get off, because pinning me to the floor is more agressive than anything.” 

  
"You punchin' me was agressive.” 

  
"Well I got scared! You just walked up and I didn't want to be cornered.” 

  
"Dude", Benrey's started much more seriously, "If I wanted to hurt you I would have done it already. You're not exactly the best at the whole self defense thing. Got- got your little fingers cut, lil' clumsy man. Needed your bro to fix you up, did ya?” 

  
"I... Wh- Let me go so I can punch you in the throat.” 

  
"Nah, bro. Can't.” 

  
He tried moving his fingers as they became numb only to realize that he and Benrey were holding hands. Gordon tried to crane his neck up and see if he wasn't delirious and there it was, normal looking pale fingers intertwined with his. Benrey's thumb was gently caressing his knuckles, no longer looking like a claw.

  
Benrey's head was swimming when Gordon didn't react negatively, only grasping back at his hand, face filled with confusion. He was sure that he could feel his rapid pulse, hear his unstedy breathing. It wasn't his fault that he reacted like this. Gordon was gorgeous, with his soft hair, dorky glasses and beautiful eyes. Those eyes he lost himself in couple of times.

  
"Benrey.” 

  
Gordon was yelling at him all those times but he didn't care.

  
"Benrey... Did- did you just say that my eyes are- what?” 

  
"Uuh", his rambling must have escaped his head, " Th- Yeah. They are nice. L-like the ocean or... yeah.” 

  
"My eyes are green not blue, you idiot.” 

  
"Yeah, so?". He changed his position, sitting on Gordon's hips instead of crushing his stomach, "Bro's complement eachother all the time. No biggie. No need to make it weird.” "You're the one that has me pinned to the floor while keeping my hands immobile. If anyone is making this weird, it's you” , Gordon couldn't hold back a laugh. His laugh felt like heaven, comforting and reassuring. Did he fix it that easily? Flattery will get you anywhere apparently.

  
Benrey moved back a little more, realising his grip on Gordon entirely and letting his fingertips gently drag down his wrists. He gimanced when he touched the scar, letting his thumb trail the damaged skin. 

Gordon kept his eyes on Benrey's face, as much of it as he could see without his glasses. It was a foggy mess but he could still make out some details, like his eyes being almost fully swallowed by his pupils. It made him look a little creepy, but when did he not look at least a little threatening.   
This felt weird, the thing between them that hanged in the air. His brain is lagging behind but he was conscious enough to notice it.   
He no longer felt Benrey's ice cold touch on his hands, it skimmed down to his wrist until it send a shock up to his brain. Panic rose in him again as Benrey inspected his scar. 

  
What was he doing letting him stay on him for this long? For crying out loud, Gordon get it together; He's back to torment you and he's using his powers to lower your suspicions. That's what the sweet voice probably did. 

  
Gordon twisted himself and freed his other hand, firmly pushing Benrey off in one swift motion, knocking his back againts the coffee table. He ran back further into his house faster than he thought he could, leaving Benrey far behind him.

  
The click of the lock shattered his hope. It wouldn't have been so easy to just win him over like that. It should have been obvious. Benrey dragged a hand down his face, before he decided to bury his head in his palms. Last mistake; thinking that all the bullshit he did in the past will be easily forgiven.


	4. Lost and found

The rain drummed loudly againts the rooftops, filling the streets with water until the roads started to overfill and spill out onto the sidewalks. It was accompanied by the low growls of thunder and by the constant flickering of lighting.

Three days ago was when the downpour started and exactly three days ago Benrey decided to give up. Not because he suddenly wasn't feeling stubborn, only because he had a quick reality check that broke his spirits.

He should have expected this to happen, that Gordon wouldn't be so quick to forgive him just like that after all that happened, and that things would take a lot of time to fully recover. The first conversation they had together was a good example of that, because it almost made Gordon pop a blood vessel. The last one they had ended with Benrey getting thrown at a table. Forgiving Benrey is not Gordon's top priority now, nor will it ever be. He might stand by those grudges until his last breath.

It didn't matter anyway. Why would it matter to him? It shouldn't, and yet he still troubles his mind about it, recalling every little detail to torture himself with mistakes from the past. There were too many to count already and he just added one more to this depressing collection.

When Gordon escaped his grasp he didn't feel anything, not even pain as his back hit the coffee table, only emptiness. This sinking feeling in his gut that made him feel like a dagger kept digging deeper and deeper into him. 

If he doesn't want him here that badly, then he will make it easier for him.

He closed his eyes with a grim expression on his face, recalling the places he passed along his path as he stalked Gordon. From darkness a shiny metal plaque with a park name on it appeared. Good enough. Far away from here so he would stop being an inconvenience, and Gordon would finally be capable of dropping his guard. For all that Benrey cared he could just rot away on a bench there, in fact he was fully alright with doing that. 

The rain abruptly hit his helmet, drenching the rest of his clothes whilst doing so, but that didn't bother him at all. He deserved this.

That day Tommy was using the short period of sun to walk Sunkist, well, be tugged by Sunkist as the dog sniffed around, fully alarmed. He acted strange and kept barking until Tommy cought up with him, like he telling him to hurry it up. 

Normally they would just walk to the park, find a place to play and have fun for a bit. This time he didn't even let Tommy catch his breath, still pulling when his owner asked him to slow down a little. The huge dog led him through the park, thoroughly searching for the thing he smelled before hastily running off, tugging hard enough for Tommy to let go of his leash. Sunkist gracefully jumped above tall bushes that seemed small in comparison to him, leaving Tommy to crawl through them to get to the other side. He scraped his hands and knees on the fallen branches, grimacing a bit when his hands started to sting. When his head finally emerged out the other end he saw what Sunkist was leading him to and he swore he felt his heart throb in sadness. 

Benrey sure as hell loves the Giant retriever, but he got a little angry at him when he unexpectedly started to attack his face with his tounge, almost making him fall off the bench. He barely even heard the giant dog approach, but he did hear the distressed way that someone yelled his name. Before his head turned to the source of the sound, he already was enveloped in a near bone crushing hug, hearing rushed apologies and muttered words that he hardly understood. He sighed as the warm hands squeezed him tighter, hugging back and not caring that he was all soaked from three days worth of rain.

Now, he was sitting at the humongous Coolatta residence that Tommy caringly invited him to after he realized that Benrey had nowhere else to go. Benrey was currently curled up on the almost collasal couch, head buried in his arms that layed on his drawn up knees, all the while his fingers, that sharpened back into dark claws, kept tugging at the yellow sweater Tommy gave him. The guard uniform was haphazardly thown over a chair near the end of the couch, leaving out only his helmet that was placed right next to him, still shining from all the rain.

The words that Tommy said constantly echoed in his head and he felt that pit in his stomach grow even more; He talked about how much he missed him, how he didn't care what he did and he was still his friend, and how much still cares about him. By the time they got home he felt like a totall asshole, hardly saying anything to Tommy when he settled his current position. It did feel nicer to be out of there, having some sort of other background noise that didn't consist of just rain hitting stuff, but he still felt all the weight on his shoulders bringing him down.

"Y- you can stay here as long as you want, Benrey!” Sunkist jumped on the couch next to him and forced his head on the guards chest, making him lean back and pet him. Tommy appeared a few moments later, holding two cups of hot chocolate, "Sunkist doesn't mind having more company, a-and the house is big enough for us both.

"Thanks...”

"Are you f-feeling ok?”

Benrey stared of into the distance, one hand on Sunkist's head and the other pulling the dog closer to himself, clearly not wanting to answer that question. Tommy frowned, putting the cups down and sitting next to Benrey who now had his face buried in Sunkist's golden fur. He rested his hand on Benrey's shoulder for a moment, testing the waters before diving on and pulling him in for another hug. This time Benrey didn't respond. 

A week has passed before Benrey started to sort of act normal again, taking things small steps at a time, but still improving. He insisted on occupying Tommy's couch despite being told that he can sleep in the guest bedroom. Majority of times Tommy would walk downstairs in the early morning to see Sunkist cuddling with Benrey, making him smile but also filling his head with doubt.

Sunkists does the same thing to him when he's feeling unwell, and Tommy knows for a fact that Benrey is still trying his hardest to avoid speaking about what happened before he was found. He really wished that he would elaborate more on that matter, but he just told him that he decided to stick around there and that he didn't know where the rest are so it seemed like a good idea at the time. That answer reeked of lies, but he tried not to push it too much, as it seemed like a sensitive subject. He had hoped at first that Benrey might come around and actually tell him, but his curiosity got the best of him, and he started to put the pieces together. 

After some calls he figured out that in fact no one else knew about Benrey being back, no one except an another rather bad liar. When he called Gordon it became stupidly obvious that he knew at least something, the irritation in his voice gave it away when he mentioned the guard's name. So, Gordon knew, but why wasn't Benrey with him then?

Back at the Black Mesa Tommy tried to give Benrey some advice when he found out his feelings towards Gordon. Unfortunately, he wasn't the best at it and Benrey hardly accepted his help anyway, opting to use his weird ways that ended with Gordon hating him more than liking him back. That might be why, but Tommy felt as if there was something more. Something he couldn't quite put out a finger on without Benrey's help. 

He waited until Benrey was having one of his good days to confront him about this, hoping that he would at least get a more fulfilling answer this time. It was difficult to tell when Benrey was feeling ok, with him almost always drifting of and locking himself away in his mind to think in peace, but this time he was just playing with Sunkists on the couch, fully aware of what is happening around him and not having that thousands mile stare. There even was a small smile on his face.

"Hi, Benrey!”

"Yo.”

So far so good; no grunt for an answer. This might even work, he hoped this would work. He didn't want to see Benrey just suffer until he masked the emotions down to try and downplay them. Gordon was the key to this mysterious chest he was hiding, but it was tricky to open it without giving away his intentions immediately. They both were stubborn enough to not tell, but it has to end. The straight forward approach it is.

"I know that - I-I know that something happened, Benrey. Between you and Mr. Freeman”, from his spot he could only stare at Benrey's back, but he noticed his head lifting, "A-and I want you to know that you can tell me. I want to help.”

His eyes fixiated on Benrey, begging him with his stare to open up. It no longer was just about his curiosity, now it changed into something real; the friend he had for such a long time needed a helping hand, and Tommy will lend that hand. No matter how long it will take.

"Nothing happened.”

"Benrey, please.”

"Wh- but nothing ha- nothing happened. It didn't happen, I wasn't at his house, bro. Th- the guy wouldn't want my help anyway. He doesn't need me. He doesn't need anyone, he- he'll just lock himself in and think. That's the shit he does. I wasn't there. Nothing fucking happened.”

"You started to- to, uh do the same, Benrey” His head snaped backwards to look at Tommy, who didn't seem at all repulsed by the sick crack his neck gave out, "You have been thinking a lot and... locking yourself away from people.”

All the time Tommy's hand rubbed his other arm in an attempt to calm his mind. No one needed this stress right now, the plan was to defuse the situation, not make it worse.

Benrey's mouth kept opening and closing, as if his words got stuck halfway in his throat. He fully turned towards Tommy, sulking a little, but he couldn't find it in him to lock eyes with his friend. Tommy studied his behavior for a moment before slowly approaching him, trying his best to not startle him out of his train of thought. He kneeled in front of him at the end of the couch. His hand extened forward, silently asking for permission until Benrey's own hand ended up on his.

"He's annoying", Benrey stated. His voice shook a little as he continued, "I tried, ok? It's his fault.”

"What happened?”

"... I tried to make things better, like between us, you know. I just- I couldn't use this form for a while and, uhm... I used the skeleton to just go and walk behind him or some shit. He fuckin' started to run and I panicked a bit. And I tried to just teleport in, but for some- for some reason that fucked up.”

"Ho- how did it mess up? You hurt Mr. Freeman?”

"Uh- No, but he tried to slash at me bro. Picked up a knife and went crazy. I tried to - to talk him out of it, but he punched me. Pretty lame, if you ask me, man.”

"So you left?”

"Nah, needed to help the guy. He, uh cut himself, like a little bitch boy. I don't know why he got scared, dude. I only talked to him and he started to baby rage... I left because he ran... away from me.”

Benrey's last words got muffled as he curled into himself, head resting on Tommy's shoulder, hands tightly holding his ones. Tommy pulled Benrey a little closer to him, hands now at his back, rubbing it in a comforting way.

So, that's why. If all his years of being Benrey's friend tought him anything is that he had trouble just opening up like that. It was an accomplishment that he will cherish and use to help his friend even further. Now he needed the other side of the story, but that would be easier to achive. For the time being he can just stay like that and reassure Benrey with his presence and think of a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter but it's needed to push everything forward so I guess here you go. The next one will be much better


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who has a fucked up upload schedule. I'm still alive! Have some heart break

His head pushed further into the back of the couch with a drawn out groan as he stretched, his eyes almost fully squeezed shut to avoid being blinded by the TV. 

The black tar like substance disappeared over time without any help from his side, leaving only a faint mark that was currently covered by his crossed legs. The mark still chilled him down to the bone, because whenever he eyed the darker spot on the cushion an animalistic like urge ignited in him that demanded to turn and run out of the room, not even bothering to look around and scout out the danger. Even if there was none to begin with. The last trick that Benrey pulled got him constantly on edge, leaving him to cover the stain with whatever was laying the closest just to get it out of his sight. Sitting on it did the trick too, but the fear of those slimy appendages re emerging and snatching him by the waist to drag him into that ink dark abyss still lingered. It left a good enough impresion that he hardly ever slept on the couch, no matter his tired state, dragging his feet across the floor to instead collapse on his bed. His back is rather thankful for that. 

Now, after all those unpleasant and fairly terrifying moments, he knows that it was just Benrey doing whatever the hell that was to get to him. Nonetheless it still didn't change the fact that his past self almost shat himself in fear as his groggy, half asleep mind was suddenly thrown into heavy panic mode. The warmth of those fingers gripping back at him, almost caressing his hand, and gently pulling him further down into his couch still made him sick to his stomach. He almost scorched the skin on his hand under the boiling water just to try and cleanse that feeling out of his nerves. 

He deduced that it might have been a teleportation method, one that Benrey didn't use that often judging from the way he almost choked on the stuff he was emerging from. The scientist in him was quite disappointed that he didn't manage to examine the substance up close. That could have cleared a few things up. He also noticed that the beings powers must have greatly reduced after they defeated it in Xen, but it was left with just enough to pester Gordon one more time. Find him, latch onto him again to start feeding his incoming headache with frustration as he tested the limit. Well, this time he leaped over that line, and Gordon can't quite bring himself to regret his decisions.

He was stuck thinking them over, trying to see if they could have been perfected whilst his eyes stared blankly at the TV screen, totally oblivious to what was happening on it. There were a lot of mistakes in his previous actions, like letting his guard down just a little bit to quickly think over his current position. It was enough for Benrey to cut the distance between them in quick strides, standing in front of him closely, even if his intentions seemed nice at the time. Gordon had a tough time believing that anyway, which ended in him creating a massive fuck up; clocking Benrey straight in the jaw. 

He should have thought more about that decision, he's smart enough to admit that. Maybe using his other hand for that was a better idea, to not make his right one go all tender, but he much rather leave a solid hit and lose feeling past his wrist than punch and maybe not even phase the guy. That was the main point of that, to knock him out, because, now that he dwells over it, he must have gotten terribly terrified of Benrey. Not by the way he was acting, he was giving him the same asshole attitude the entire time, but just by how strong he looked compared to his previous form. Compared to Gordon.

Knocking him off of his balance worked just like he wanted, but he hadn't thought that he'd get that far so his brain sort of short circuited, trying its best to save his ass. It was working too sluggishly, he thought, as his back was having a nice personal meeting with the floor a few seconds later, his wrists pinned above him and knife flung somewhere on the ground. Lovely, be stuck under someone that tried to kill you and got you injured at some point whilst you are completely at their mercy. Bravo Gordon.

Benrey tried some excuses on him to maybe loosen him up a little so he would avoid getting punched again, and it sort of worked. Gordon shoved him. That's different. Gordon dragged a hand down his face and cringed when he recalled how long he waited in hiding after escaping that cold grasp, just cowering in blind fear like a pathetic animal. He still finds it strange that he didn't get followed. Benrey must have been planning his attack or just waiting for Gordon to come back. Like that was going to happen. He would much rather fight the military again than face Benrey. 

When he felt too tense to keep himself huddled in the corner of his room, staring straight at the door like it was the most interesting thing in the world, he peaked his head out, curiosity getting the better of him and testing his luck. This time something up there listened to his pleas and he was met with the image of his empty living room; deep blue orbs floating around where he threw Benrey, furniture slightly crooked from its original place and feathers still on the ground with some of them covered in tiny droplets of blood. What did blue mean again? 

His green eyes peeled away from the screen to stare at that supposedly injured hand. It was healed properly, not even leaving a small sign that the palm was cut open at one point. He thinks that it was a nice gesture, but it wouldn't have happened if Benrey didn't show up to throw a God damn pillow at him when he was holding a knife. His good pillow, he corrects himself. The only good one that now layed on the coffee table, the gaping hole still there with feathers poking out of it and it taunted him. He still might have something to sew it back together. His skills are not the best on their own, hardly being able to fix one of Joshua's toys, but now the half asleep hand is going to add onto the challange. Gordon is extremely thankfull that he got it back, but having better control over it would be nice. Srew it, better disfigure this pillow with his horrible handywork than slave over getting the stains out of the others. 

Gordon stood up, his back giving a satisfying crack as he straightened his posture. He takes his time with searching for the little box that had all the neddles and threads in it, returning back to his spot after successfully finding it and grabbing the cut open pillow as gently as he can. All the feathers should be insinde of there, so only the sewing part will trouble his mind. As he threads the needle a part of him wonders where Benrey ran off to, not that he cared much. He just couldn't sleep easily knowing that an eldritch abomination was just up and about somewhere causing havoc because he let it escape. It would put him at ease if he just found out where he is, only to calm his caring side. The one that didn't care for Benrey, only for the wellness of others that weren't mindless psychopaths or just high functioning sociopaths. Gordon honestly had a tough time deciding which one fit Benrey's appearance more.

His phone buzzed and he cursed as the needle pierced his finger. He mumbled some insults, mainly at his clumsiness, and picked his phone up. 

\-----  
"Hi, Gordon! Sorry for sending this out so late, but Joshua has really missed you and he pestered me into writing this. You probably are asleep by now so I will just make it brief to not spam your phone too much.” "After you called us to tell what happened he couldn't stop talking about you and how excited he is to listen to some stories.” "I have no clue how he found Black Mesa exploding so interesting, but I guess he's just trying to find excuses to visit you faster.” "Hope you don't mind that. You wouldn't say no to your son, would you? ;)” \-----

Gordon rolled his eyes. She's always using that card when her plans for the weekend are already set. He focuses more on the first message and he ponders on it before checking the time. Six in the morning. Jesus Christ, how in the living hell is he still awake. He thinks of calling just to clear certain things out when his phone suddenly rings in his hand, revealing a call from an unknown number. 

"Hello?", he said, some of what curious about who might be calling him at this ungodly hour.

"Mr. Freeman!" Gordon's ear rings slightly, clearly not prepared for the sudden ourburst of energy that was Tommy's half yelled response, "I"m so glad t-that you answered. I need to talk to you. It's really important. Very, very important.”

That was a way of getting his full attention. He should also save Tommy's number, to save himself trouble in the future. Gordon leaned back onto the couch, placing the phone between his ear and shoulder as he busied his left hand with scratching at his scarred wrist. What could be this important that he called at 6 am?

"Go ahead then. What is it?”

"First of all, did you see- ehm, meet Benrey? Like, after the party? I know we talked about this, but it's kind of needed right now", his tone was hushed, like he was trying his best to not make too much of a ruckus.

"How heavily is it needed? And what, did you meet him or something and he lied to you that he was with me? If yes then punch him for me if you could.”

"Mr. Freeman, please. It's really important.”

"Allright, fine! Yes, he was here. I didn't want his ass to bother me let's get that cleared out.  
He just- I don't know, appeared here and later left.”

"D-did you argue?"

"Why are you doing this now Tommy? It's pretty late". Gordon didn't want to press into this topic. Benrey was out of his life and that was it. He doesn't need to speak about him. He kind of fears that Benrey might appear if he keeps mentioning him. "Did he tell you to do this? Jesus, I know he doesn't get how humans function sometimes, but we need sleep.”

"Then why aren't you sleeping, Mr. Freeman?”

"I- Well, it's...”

"I really need this to clear something out. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you right now.”

"No, its fine. I just- I kind of don't want to talk about Benrey. I have no clue where he is and the conversation we had makes me happy that I don't know. He really pissed me off.”

"B-but he tried to get to you, Mr. Freeman! He cares!". Gordons guffaws at that. "Im serious! You were the one he tried to connect to first. Th-that means something!”

"That's just his way of getting back to pissing me off, he probably want to continue the streak or some weird shit he would say. And I'm sorry Tommy, but I find it hard to believe that Benrey can feel anything positive.”

"He feels positive about you!”

Gordon mind backtracks on that, repeating it to make sure he heard those words correctly. Positive about me? In an attention leech way; following him like a bad hungover that made his head throb with each step he took. Yeah, maybe like that. Benrey only thinks positively when he gets under Gordon's skin. Makes him mad enough to see red and fire some shots in his direction. He saw it in his face, just the pure smug grin staring back at him and gloating in how he made him lose his cool so easily. At some point Gordon thought that Benrey saw him as a challange of some sort, that will test his abilities of making other people hate him. He didn't even show compassion when he realized what the soldiers were doing, at least not a lot of it. How can someone that caused him so much pain even remotely think positively of him?

"That's bullshit.”

"I'm not kidding! He is really fond of you, Mr. Freeman. In a... Ehm- like in t-the extra possitive way."

"... Are you trying to tell me that he likes me?". Tommy made a slight noise of disagreement. The silence dragged on until something clicked in Gordon's mind, making him physically recoil from the phone, "Oh, hell no! He doesn't see me that way!"

"No, he does! For a long time he did!”

That... explains much more things than it should. Too many things for his liking. Way too many.

"You're lying. Tommy, I like you, but you have to kidding me right now.”

"He would do everything for you, Mr. Freeman! He would even throw himself in front of danger to protect you.”

"Benrey would throw himself in front of danger for fun.”

"Mr. Freeman, I'm being serious.”

"Well, If you are it... Doesn't change much anyway.”

"W-what do you mean?”

"I don't- I'm not sure I...? Well, I just don't think that- that I-I'm not... Look, ok? I don't swing that way, Tommy. So even If you are telling the truth then that's allright I guess, but I don't feel the same way about him. I also very heavily doubt that that's the truth.”

"Why? I'm not lying.”

"It's not about you lying, it's about Benrey's true feelings. I think this is just a stupid prank that got out of control. He's way to much of an asshole to feel that way about me.”

"No, but Benrey's nice!”

"Well maybe to you, but definitely not to me. Look I have a lot on my mind right now Tommy. I need to fix things around here and overall calm down. I already have a headache just from thinking about that nuisance.”

" But-”

"Tommy, please...", he pleaded, hoping to just corner himself away and sink further into his thoughts.

" F-fine, but please message me when you'll be capable of talking again Mr. Freeman."

*I will, don't worry."

Gordon let his hand drop uslessly next to him. It's way to late for this. He should think it over to at least set his brain straight, but he fears that he will only come up with an incoherent answer that will be the only thing that drifted past the fog of exhaustion. 

Apparently that's a thing now. He's not going to look at Benrey the way he did before, that's for sure. He just wouldn't be capable of doing so. It felt weird knowing that a person who you despise wants to be with you.

Tommy tightly held onto his phone, staring daggers at his own reflexion. He dwelled over Gordon's response and how instead of fixing this problem he set to dispose of, he only made it worse for himself and for Benrey included. The problem got tenfold harder, because of his work. 

There isn't a nice way to reject someone who has yearned for the others touch for so long with no avail. The soul crushing answer will pierce through Benrey's heart to let it bleed out and drain all the happiness with it. He already could feel those eyes on him and how they would change from their normal uncaring stare to a devastated and broken look that would engrave itstelf in his memories forever. The leaded weight setteled in his stomach and washed him over with guilt, repeating the same phase over and over. _This is your fault._ His vision starter to blurr, tears threatening at the corners of his eyes. The sting wouldn't hurt so much if he was braver back then, if he simply came up to Gordon to ask him and get this over with. 

Things would have rolled along on their own just fine after that, but now he was holding them still from falling down and destroying everything it created in it's path. Tommy's plan was flawed and he realized this only when a bigger obstacle blocked his road and dug into his side. He had no clue how to fix this now. It's like he was this close to helping someone complete a thing that deeply matters to them, but the most essential piece got lost because he got to overwhelemed to think logically. 

The first thing he should have done was consulting benrey about his brilliant idea, not leaving him in the dark to later reveal how he screwed over his fate with Gordon. Tommy doubted that the hesitation in Gordon's voice was because he cared about Benrey enough to at least lay it easy on him. It was more because he felt uncomfortable knowing that Benrey had a thing for him for such a long time, and he was finding it hard to express that. Gordon probably knew about Benrey having a thing for him before, but in his eyes it was allways the negative stuff about him that shined the brightest. This unfortunate phone call only cemented that in.

He can't do it. He can't bring himself to go out there and tell Benrey what happened. In Benrey's mind there still was a sliver of hope. If he told him all of this it would burn out like an ember and leave only the grey aftermath. He refuses to believe that it has to end this way. After all it just can't; he remembers when Benrey led him away from the group to open up, ask for help, and he remembers gladly promising that if he won't manage to make him and Gordon a couple then he will at least set things straight. Make the mess between them good enough so Benrey would be able of sticking around Gordon without him losing his mind in anguish or madness. Tommy will keep that promise. No matter how much it takes, he will do it, for Benrey. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he wouldn't repair this.

Benrey may not be the kind to notice things quickly, but he caught the shift in Tommy's behavior pretty fast. He looked and acted fairly normally though that changed when Benrey came in the picture. It felt like he was walking on eggshells around him. The topics that he preferbly liked to pested him about just vanished out of the blue; he no longer tried to worm in the whole what-happened-with-Gordon situation. Now that he ponders about this with his head laying on Sunkist's stomach like a pillow, Tommy didn't say anything about him in a while, almost like he was avoiding doing that on purpose. Well, he pulled off some of his amazing ideas back then without his help, so he guessed that this isn't the end of the world. Tommy sure as hell acted like it was. 

Sunkist's tail draped over his eyes as the dog started to excitedly wag it with great force, continuously smacking Benrey across the face. He got up in an instant to wipe the stray dog hairs out of his face.

"Benrey?”

He flinched, clearly not expecting to see Tommy just sitting before him with a happy grin on his face, "Yo, bro. You gonna give me a heart attack. Gonna kill me with that.” "Sorry, but I couldn't wait to keep this a secret from you any longer", his face shifted to something more serious and for a second Benrey felt wierdly uneasy. That was until Tommy threw his hand up in the air looking excited again, " We re going bowling!” "Cool.” "With Mr. Freeman!” "Wh- Dope, sick. How did you get that idiot to agree?” "Well, I just spoke to him. He- he is stressed and I thought that t-this might help! I also want to help you, Benrey!" "So what? Gonna push me in a closet with him or something. Get us to smooch?", he pursed his lips, smugly grinning right after.

Tommy averted his gaze, visibly troubled with something. He shook his head a little before stammering out, "Ehm... M-maybe just... To talk?”

Benrey squints, opening his mouth before shutting it with an audible click.

  
Tommy quickly changed the subject, opting to talk about the party and straying as far away from even mentioning Gordon in the slightest. Benrey sensed that something fishy was going on. It bounced around in his head while he grimanced to try and bite into this sudden change. He let Tommy ramble on, but he eyed him more carefully, something heavy sitting in his chest.  
  
  


Living with Tommy under the same roof made Benrey realize how rich the guy actually is. Two floors with expensive looking furniture, a pool at the back with a glass sliding door to the kitchen and overtime it just made sense to him that can expect everything from this place. But Benrey sure as hell looked at Tommy in a funny way when he said that the bowling alley is inside his house, and not somewhere out in town.

Sure, he had a humongous house, it would be completely understandable if he had a gaming room of some sort. A room, not a whole basement filled with old arcade games, ranging from Donkey Kong to Street Fighter, and a pretty decently sized bowling alley with a small side bar. The place was littered with neon signs and posters that were neatly placed in glass frames. There even was a small open area right in front of the bar that hosted what looked like a dance floor, the heavy disco ball slowly circling above it and reflecting light all over the room. It saved Tommy the trouble of keeping everyone under control so they wouldn't get thrown out for their shenanigans, and by everyone he specifically means Benrey, Bubby and Coomer. You never know when the chaos will ensue with them all together.

Tommy must have planned this little party for a while, going off the fact that snacks were already neatly placed on the bar and all three bowling lanes were activated. All of them had bright lights running at both sides and a screen that displayed the score. Surprising how he shared the same roof with Tommy for such a long time now and he didn't figure out that this place existed. As much as he liked snooping around the place just because, it felt a little weird to wander off so he kept his inquisitiveness at bay.

This day was evidently bubbling with great surprises, because Tommy bounced back to acting like his old self, engaging with Benrey a lot more and chatting about whatever came to his mind first. It was greatly appreciated as Benrey kept stressing over how Gordon will react to him being here. He probably expects this to be just another party that the entire science team was invited to, and he won't be thrilled to see an additional guest. That wasn't the only thing that he needed to get his mind off. The situation that Tommy and Gordon suddenly created made him more aware of his surroundings, and, even if he's too embarrassed to say this, it made him double take almost every action that Tommy did. Whatever happened with them put him at a strange unease. The fact that his wingman is suddenly rejecting his plans to hit Gordon up and instead proposing more mild approaches makes him suspect that his gut feeling is pushing him the right way.

Usually, he doesn't care when people don't inculde him in things, but this is too important for him to not know at least a little bit of the story. The part that clears things out, even if only a little, is enought for him. It wasn't selfish of him to butt in.

He scratched at the wooden surface of the bar, while Tommy was upstairs getting the last things ready and preparing himself to welcome the guests. Dr. Coomer and Bubby will arrive together so maybe he'll get a few minutes to break something with them, if they'll get here first. A nice way to relax and let his mind wander away from a certain someone. He overheard Tommy say that their house is not so far away from his one, so messing around with Bubby to see if the disco ball can be lit on fire could at this point be reality.

Benrey hears some commotion upstairs, ceasing his scratching to listen in closely for a little bit, trying to figure out who it might be. Only two voices. Already a bad sign. A light and chipper voice, that's Tommy, and a deeper one. Coomer? Nah, his voice isn't that soft and sweet and just pure bliss to Benrey's ears. Wait, no, not according to plan.

"Hi, benrey!" Tommy's head popped up from the stairs, "Sorry, but I have to make sure the others don't get lost trying to find us. Mr. Freeman can keep you company, though!”

With that he almost pushed Gordon into the room and quickly sped up the steps, jumping past some of them to go even faster. Gordon stared back at the stairs for a while before deeply sighing and turning his head towards Benrey, already looking quite displeased. He cocked a brow as he took in Benrey's new look; still sitting in the same yellow sweater Tommy gave him a while ago, his uniform pants replaced with grey sweatpants that heavily contrasted againts the almost neon green socks. Gordon guessed that he rummaged through Tommy's clothes and picked them randomly.

Benrey felt a strong sense of deja vu as Gordon stared him down, this time looking more angry than surprised to see him. Not wanting to repeat their first not so welcome meeting he turned his head completely away, acting uninterested and only flicking his gaze to Gordon from time to time. It was hard to tell like this, but he could see that his attire seemed to kind of resemble his own. A strong push on kind of. He also wore a sweater, but his one was red and pulled back a little to expose his forearms, he had baggy black pants on him and he held what appeared to be a grey hoodie. In conclusion, he looked pretty normal, which is weird to say, but Benrey got so used to seeing him in that HEV suit that seeing Gordon right now without it felt kind of odd. Like something forbidden. That was even more stupid, because he already saw Gordon without it a few days ago, or maybe weeks. He kind of misses the dumb orange suit, but only a little bit. Probably just having trouble adjusting to the change. There's no room to complain though when he gets to see how Gordon's biceps nicely fill out his sweater.

"You done staring?” That threw Benrey off guard enough to make him snap his head back to look at Gordon. His tone clearly indicated that he was still frustrated after the last time. It stung. Benrey tried to do a good thing God dammit. Gordon is ungrateful, and annoying.

"Ya, you look like shit.”

"Can say the same to you. Look, I don't care how you got here, all you need to know is that I'm here because of Tommy. I'll just ignore you if you start acting like an asshole.”

Benrey shrugged and murmured a half audible ,, yeah, whatever ", going back to scratching at the bar. He got two things from that. One is that his little visit to Gordon's place didn't change much besides the fact that he may or may not hate him more, that is just fucking fantastic, and the second thing is that he clearly doesn't know how to be sneaky about things. It was already hard enough for Benrey to pry his eyes off of Gordon to begin with, and now, when he looks so relaxed and maybe even happy, it's just not doable. His smile beemed when Dr. Coomer stepped in, welcoming him in the same way as always and squeezing him in a tight hug. Benrey guessed by the shift in his smile that Dr. Coomer almost crushed his insides, but Gordon was too polite to complain about that. Bubby stepped in right behind him giving his own less enthusiastic welcome.

Everyone one looked equally happy, and that happened when he wasn't butting in. Was this Tommy's way of proving something to Benrey? He still responded when he was called over, taking the lead in creating some sort of distance between him and Gordon as he stood as far away as he could without making it look intentional. The look that he received from him could be classified as something nice. His face softened up, no longer sizing him up like he was about to reenact that God awfull night yet again, and those green eyes eventually left Benrey be. A silent show of gratitude. Too bad that it ended the second Tommy set the teams.

"Good choice Tommy!” replied Coomer, clasping his hands together and already walking towards his and Bubby's lane.

"I wouldn't say so”, said Gordon reluctantly. He gestured to Tommy and Benrey, "You're both friends, so it would make more sense that you two would be on a team.”

"B-But then you would be playing alone, Mr. Freeman.”

"Yeah, but now you're doing that. Don't you want to team up with Benrey instead.”

"Wow, bro”, Benrey could feel Gordon piercing him with his eyes yet again, "Not wanting to play with your bestest pal Benrey. Pretty cringe.”

"You don't get a say in this.”

"It is pretty awfull, Gordon”, this time Bubby added on, "What are you scared that you'll lose so you just give up already?”

"We hav- Since when is this a competition?”

"The first one to reach a thousands points wins!”, After Tommy's announcement both teams picked up their bowling balls and started gaining points. Well, Tommy's kind of half a team with him playing alone and all that.

How come the entire world has turned againts him in these past few weeks? First Black mesa, then his hand, after that the whole Big Bad battle, and now he feels like he's back at square one with Benrey being stuck to him again.

He unwillingly made his way towards their lane to pick up the bowling ball. Let's add on that Tommy dipped his fingers into this. The party was his idea and the team picking was also his doing. Right after what he told Gordon about Benrey. That made him want to stray as far away from him as he could, not because he felt disgusted, it just made him feel like an asshole. He threw the ball with more strength than intended, hearing it loudly crash into the pins, knocking seven of them down. He heard an impressed whistle behind him, and a strange cold when Benrey passed him to grab another ball. Those freezing fingers chucked it, because you can't call that a normal throw. It made an even louder noise as it hit the middle of the lane. That somehow knocked down eight.

Gordon powered through the rest of the game, honestly trying to keep his mind focused only on it with little to no avail. Everytime Benrey passed him he got enveloped in a cold breeze and it made it hard to pay attention to other things. It turns out that almost giving himself first degree burns didn't wipe out the memory of those ice cold fingers on him as he has to keep himself in check to not grip his wrist. It also baffled him greatly, how a guy the size of Benrey is somehow managing to be colder than a refrigerator, even under that sweater and warm looking sweatpants. He felt colder and colder, the addition of yellow eyes trying and failing to not stare at his movements didn't help at all. Now he didn't feel like a fool for bringing that hoodie.

"Yo”, that word was said way to close behind him. The cold breeze hit his back with great force, "We're almost winnin', bro. Hit a nine.”

"Easier said than done.”

"No, you gotta. Just don't fuck up. Please?". He hardly thinks that Benrey cares about winning, but what the hell, why not humor him a bit and actually hit it. Maybe it would get him to back away. He threw the ball and watched it miss the pins entirely. "You're throwing it wrong.”

"How exactly am I throwing it wrong, Benrey? I can't control that well where it lands.”

"But you can though. Just...". Gordon saw Benrey extend his arm. It stopped dead in it's track, being quicky pulled back as if burned while Benrey stammered something under his breath. He grabbed another ball and demonstrated, "Um- You just.... Like, grip it this way. You throw further.”

"I think you're supposed to roll it there, not throw as hard as you can.”

"Just a friendly tip, bro.”

Gordon rolled his eyes, mentally hitting himself for ovethinking Benrey's strange behavior and taking his turn to throw. He automatically changed his grip, only realizing what he's done when all the pins dropped and the screen displayed the word ,,strike". He stood dumbfounded and listened to his friends cheering him on, turning around to find a pleased grin on Benrey's face that he badly tried to hide by quickly passing Gordon to occupy himself in getting another strike.

The party went on with Gordon, now knowingly, using Benrey's tactics to push them towards second place. Dr. Coomer and Bubby took the first, leaving them to fight againts Tommy who was somehow gaining the same amount of points as them. Their fight was intense and they won only because Sunkist intervened. The retriever wanted to be included and he continued to bother his owner with bumping into his legs and whining, so in retrospect, they won because Tommy had to give up. It still was a well played fight with a couple of bumps on the road. Mainly the bumps that Gordon felt. No matter what he did he felt Benrey stare at him, mostly at his arms. While the science team chatted and ate the snacks Tommy prepared, he stuck himself in his mind to contemplate this whole thing. He learned through listening to the ongoing conversation that the rest just accepted that Benrey was back with no trouble. Tommy was of course more happy than the others, but that's because he got his best friend back. People tend to be happy about things like that. Nevermind that he also tried to fight Tommy in the final battle, that seemed to be forgiven.

It's not like he thinks everyone should hate Banrey now, it's the opposite actually. He wants someone else to pry the guy off of him, at least at the beggining of the party. There were times that he got on his nerves or acted strangely, but that's just how he acted everyday. He thinks that he must have hit his head somewhere in Black mesa, because he feels like Benrey's behaving like this to try and do something nice to him. That's weird, like extremely weird, judging by his past actions. It was also kind of sweet, something he'll never admit even if he was held at gun point. A night of acting like this won't fix the problems he coused. But it was a pleasant start, one that he might even consider taking intrest in. See, he hit his head, this is the only explanation to this.

He chuckled, leaning back to strech a bit and reach for the bag of chips while joining in on the conversation. He admits that it's really nice to see everyone again, this time in a more calm setting. It was great that they all stayed in touch after escaping. At the beggining he thought that they'll just stay, because they have to, and when the window of opportunity will appear he'll be left alone. He was glad that it wasn't true. Even if Gordon can't shake Benrey's eyes off of him, and the fact that he's been staring the entire party. It didn't bother him that much anymore. His phone suddenly starter ringing so he exused himself to answer, skipping up the stairs to get some privacy. Benrey watched him leave, and when he turned his head back he was met with a huge smile on Coomer's face.

"What?”

"Young love, so beautiful”, he heard Bubby snicker right after Coomer said that. Benrey's mouth formed into a fine line, being cought red handed.

"Nah, bro. I have no clue whatcha talking about.”

Coomer and Bubby stayed on the subject, much to his dismay. Bubby teased him that he looks at Gordon that way, and Coomer recited the entire Wikipedia article about falling in love. The whole time Benrey was stearnly looking at Tommy, who didn't look as pleased and he avoided staring back at Benrey or contributing in the teasing whatsoever.

That continued until Bubby mentioned that Gordon didn't get back in a while and commented how Benrey should be the one to seek him out. Coomer agreed and Tommy gave a relieved smile leaving Benrey to climb up the steps, mumbling to himself. He turned his head to look for Gordon when he reached the top, realising that it's going to take longer than expected as he couldn't find him anywhere close by. Not wanting to spend too much time on this he breathed in and used his powers to enhance his hearing, being way to lazy to just move around the place to find him.

He heard the science team talking downstairs, heard the crickets outside and the wind as it blew againts the leaves, and he heard someone quietly laugh a few rooms over.

Bingo.

He followed the sounds while switching his hearing back to normal. The door to the living room had been closed so he reached out for it, having his hand close around the handle, and with a quick decision, quietly pulling it open. He saw Gordon talking with someone on the phone and he listened in. It wouldn't hurt, he had no clue who he was talking with so it's ok.

"Yes... What? No, that's dumb. Get that also, I don't want to buy it for him later with you know who around... I will don't worry. I love you too.”

That was said with too much adoration to be just a family member. His face twisted into a stern look and he walked away from the door with his heart heavy in his chest. He got questioning looks from the rest when he came back down, but that hardly mattered.

"Hey, guys", Gordon's voice beemed from the stairs, "Look, I gotta go.”

"What? Why? We're just starting.”

"I know that, Bubby. But this is important.”

Tommy volunteered to at least wait with Gordon until his ride got here and that led to the rest wanting to do that also. Benrey followed to not raise any suspicions. With that the party moved upstairs. Gordon apologised to Tommy for his fast exit, promising to stay longer next time and Coomer stayed with Benrey and Bubby on the couch. Benrey sat as far away as he could without falling off and he stared out the window. The sun had aleady set, but the sky was filled with too many clouds to see any stars. So he watched his reflexion on the dark background, feeling it accuse him with an ice look. _Should have thought about that,_ it said, _it was expected_. He watched with a bored expression, switching between listening to what Coomer and Bubby were talking about behind him to overhearing small snippets of Tommy's conversation with Gordon. They were together again, the reflexion stated. His half lidded eyes shot open when a run down red car pulled into the driveway. It was hard to tell, but he swore he saw a woman behind the wheel and something sitting in the back seet. Gordon must have noticed her too as he said his goodbyes and headed outside towards the car.

Benrey's lips slightly parted, his mouth dry as he caught a glimpse of Gordon getting his cheek kissed by the woman, right before they drove off. He stared out into the darkness, his yellow eyes reflecting back in the window with a broken look to them.


	6. Chapter 6

Gordon unceremoniously collapsed onto his seat, stretching with a long groan and straightening his head up enough to look at the rear view mirror. He squinted, partly to see better in the poor light and mostly because his glasses were sitting askew on his nose, then he deflated with a sigh as Tommy's house disappeared out of his line of sight. His tired eyes shut, allowing him to take some deep breaths before he scrubed a hand down his face, pushing himself up to press his head more into the headrest. 

Yes, he said that he was happy to see everyone, and he truerly was, but that doesn't mean that he can't be a tad bit overwhelmed by everything. He wasn't a party animal to begin with so he deserved a pat on the back for sticking around so long without taking a single breather. It was nice though. Seeing Bubby and Coomer together brought him great amounts of joy, and he damn near squished Tommy in a hug, so it's safe to say that he missed him. They escaped that hellhole not too long ago, and they all looked equally enthusiastic to meet back. Bubby showed that enthusiasm in a different way, but Gordon learned to understand that. 

The last party member can be discussed when Gordon will gather enough mental strength to bother himself with his existence. Something still warned him about doing that, saying that if he thinks about Benrey too much he will just materialize next to Gordon and then act like he always does. Though it would be the best for both of them if would just kick himself in the ass and finally stop putting serious stuff aside. But not right now.  
Right now he was more busy with trying to smudge off the lipstick stain marking his cheek. Still, he made a mental note to jump back to this topic the second he'll feel up to it.

After minutes of tedious rubbing Gordon pushed his glasses more up his nose to fix them, only to let out a long suffering groan when he realized his entire sleeve was now covered in lipstick. His cheek burned with the amount of friction burns he just assulted it with, and the stain probably didn't even budge.

The whole corny kiss on the cheek he was usually met with was starting to get on his nerves. It was followed by his hair being ruffled, so he guessed that he can thank her for sparing him some embarrassment. Bubby wouldn't let it go if he caught a glimpse of that, and Gordon would like to go a little bit longer without choking someone out. You know, actually work on his anger issues. Might be good for his health.

"Well?" Her saying something after a long period of silence was sudden enough to make him jump in his seat.

"Well?" he repeated back, not quite getting what she was after.

She rolled her eyes, poking his temple before starting again with a shit eating grin resting on her face, "You're not gonna say what happened? Not feeling like sharing it with the rest of the class? Lil' stage fright?"

She poked his cheek and he had to push her hand away while choking out a quick, "Stop," which didn't sound nearly as serious as he wanted.

"Why? You look like you wanna share at least a little. I haven't seen ya with a stick so far up your ass in a short while and you're just teasing me with your silence."

"Hey!"

"Ok, alright." She patted his leg and continued, "But you still look drained. C'mon, tell ol' Grace what happened."

Normally she stopped after her first try, so Gordon just accepted his fate, propped his foot up and went along with the wave, "Nothing. It was just a normal party be-"

"-A bros only night."

"Yeah, sure," Gordons mumbled, his voice muffled by his sleeve as he started rubbing his cheek again, "You can call it that if you wanna." 

"A little spare time you get to think back to the old times with the pals," Grace said, pausing for a moment to focus more on the road before her brows furrowed in thought. "Though you guys don't really go that far, do you?"

"No, not really. We met at Black Mesa. You know, that place where the whole..." Gordon hesitated, eyes flicking down to his right hand, his mouth forming a thin line. There was a lot he said while on the phone with Grace, but he might have skimmed over some plot thickening details. He didn't have much time to think about an excuse to jump into another topic before her elbow bumped againts his side, successfully distracting him and making him clutch to the first thing his mind threw at him, "The... T-The thing happened," he cursed his voice for cracking as he cleared his throat, "You know? The one I told you about?"

"Yeah, I get ya. Before it all blew up or whatever," Grace furrowed her brows again and moved her eyes so they would stare deep into his. It made the hair at the back off Gordon's neck stand, "That thing?"

His throat felt dry as he swallowed, relief washing over him. Gordon faked a stretch just to pry his eyes away from her piercing brown ones and to pull his sleeve more down his wrist, "Yeah, that. I-It did blow up. Partly 'cause of me I think. No, scratch that, definitely 'cause of me."

"Don't blame yourself. You already do enough of that." This time he elbowed her. "What? You don't? And you should be happy that I'm not nosy like the little guy in the back. He wouldn't let you go just at ,,oh, it blew up and I think I did it". You wouldn't get a second to breathe."

Not nosy, right.

Gordon was so out of it that he almost forgot about Joshua being in the back seat. He straightened up more to not fall over with the next turn while he turned his head back, a smile already present on his face. Joshua was sleeping in the booster seat, head lulled to the side, hands barely hanging on to the blanket that was carefully draped over his legs. Gordon had a strong urge to reach his hand towards him and pet his head, just to guarantee that this is happening. That it's real.

Previously, there were many times that he would lie wide awake, listening to the others snore while he stared at the ceiling or the distant wall, depending if Benrey was in the room or not. Gordon learned on the first night that the second Benrey would realize that he was awake it would be a point of no return. Bickering went back fast and strong, not even caring for the fact that the rest were asleep right there. Gordon also liked to avoid opening his eyes while he was sleeping on his back, because one time he did and he almost had a fucking heart attack as he noticed Benrey's glowing eyes in the corner of his vision, staring right at him in the dark. With the way they looked, all blown out like that, it seemed like he didn't even have eyes and that greatly added onto the fear factor. He felt both creeped out and a little flattered, which is extremely weird to try and explain. It was then that he decided to roll over before opening them. 

But never mind that. At those moments his mind took him back to Joshua, hoping that he would see him again. There were many times that he doubted it would ever happen, so this felt more surreal then anything. It was worth seeing him all relaxed and snoring soundly. He lost the fight with himself and reached forward enough to caress his cheek. Joshua stirred but only turned his head more to his hand, making Gordon melt in the process.

"That is something I'll have to be prepared to face in the morning," he said while retracting his hand. Gordon stared at Joshua for a little longer then remembered something, turning to face Grace, "You did buy the toy right?"

"No," she responded looking at the road. She then bumped his shoulder, " And don't change the subject, young man."

"What do you mean?"

"You still didn't answer my question."

Gordon pursed his lips, revising back their conversation in his head only to narrow his eyes. The barely visible view outside the car window suddenly became much more interesting than whatever they were doing.

"You're flustered, Gordo."

"I'm not!"

"You areee!" Grace dragged out the word with her voice going higher and higher, clearly mocking Gordon who was now fully turned to the window, "C'mon, this literally happened a while back. I was driving your ass back home after a party when you started acting the same way you do now. Avoiding eye contact, drifting to the clouds to think. It's pretty noticeable when you do that, you know. You get all dreamy eyed."

"Oh my god, stop."

"I know you, Gordo. I know you well enough to realize that maybe there's something on your mind... or someone." Gordon's head snapped back in her direction in a record time, with a look of disbelief clearly visible in his features. "It was rather easy to guess that from the way you were describing all your buddies. The same way you did it back then."

"You wanted to know more about them! I just did what you asked! I owe you that much after disappearing for a couple of days."

"Stop it. I already told you we're even. I'm just happy to see you alive," she said sweetly, taking in a deep breath only for her grin to get back as she quickly added, "But still-"

"-No! There's nothing to dig into!"

"Still-"

"-Stop it!" It was his turn to jab at her, making her go into a laughing fit. She swatted at his hand, trying to catch her breath, "T-There's, oh my god, wait a minute," another brethless chuckle left her, hand suspended in the air to fight him off if he began again, " Whew, ok. There's still something that bugged me ever since we spoke. That was who you would pick out of them."

Gordon was surprised how his groan didn't wake up Joshua. He raised his hands to put them againts his ears and shake his head in disagreement. Grace continued despite that, "I don't think it's the old fellas. Unless your taste changed."

"I will jump out the car, Grace."

"So that only leaves us with two. With that Tommy guy and-"

"-Grace, don't test me!"

"Oh, and let me tell you something real quick, before I forget. When i drove up to the house i got a couple of seconds to peek around while i waited for ya. And I think saw one of your buddies in the window." Gordon's eyes jumped from one thing to another, trying to recall who that might me. His eyes widened in realization. "I can't quite tell if it was the harsh lighting or what, but I can swear he looked familiar. Almost identical to one of your old pals." She waggled her eyebrows and kept driving like nothing ever happened, the only trace that something did indeed happen being that smug smile that stubbornly stayed on her face. And she didn't even look fazed by what she just did to him. She started to fumble with the radio while humming something under her breath, promptly indicating that his tortures were over and leaving Gordon alone with his thought, with an upbeat song cheering him on.

Gordon turned back to the window, debating over opening it to cool off his burning face. He blinked a couple of times, his mouth parting open only to shut back with a click when no words managed to come out of his throat. It was like his brain was trying, and failing miserably, to come up with a clever answer, and everytime it constructed a sentence it got blown away by what Grace just said. The more he tried, the more it dawned on him that she was indeed correct with that correlation.

The way she looked right now, greatly satisfied with her achievements, made his teeth grit against each other. And now he can thank her for having an experience close to a existential crisis as the world he knew started to collapse in his hands.

Of course he noticed that some of his friends looked familiar, and that might be bacause he saw them earlier in Black Mesa, but there was always Benrey and Bubby that made that feeling a little bit stronger. Grace didn't mention Bubby, however it was clear that she also pinned him to that deduction. Bubby was easy to guess, Gordon thinks, and he might know which scientist Bubby was based on. The guy was evidently dead, but it's Black Mesa we're talking about. Half the shit that went on in there could scar someone for life and Gordon is a fantastic example, so cloning a dead guy isn't something uncanny.

So, yeah... Benrey. Grace said that he looked almost identical to someone Gordon knew, and the dots connected relatively quick.   
There's this stupid little thing he remembers, for some reason it saved itself as a key memory in his brain. It kept coming back whenever it felt like it, bringing along some questions to make Gordon have a headache from dwelling on them too much. Majority of the time, the memory feels like static, a tangled mess of random colours and conversations he barely remembers. Only they all seem to be with the same person. A guy he can guess was a guard. He remembered that he used to dressed like one, but Gordon can't trust himself with that as his memories kept switching the guy up. Some times he visits his mind looking all ready for business, and sometimes he gets all up in Gordons personal space, looking like the most casual guy ever. Those were the times he doesn't like to think about, for reasons that he's too embarrassed to talk about. Just something about a nice looking guy walking up to him to squeeze him in a hug made his stomach do somersaults. 

The butterflies felt too real, like Gordon was actually there with him. His name stayed a mystery to him, no matter how mamy times and how hard he tried to recall it. The guys face stayed cristal clear though; gorgeous brown eyes, short black hair and a smile that used to light up his day. 

Now, with his new found knowledge, it's hard not to press that memory down. The resemblance is uncanny, almost completely perfect if not for Benrey's yellow eyes. And... And maybe he does act a little like him. In a bad way. If Benrey would kick everything down a notch then maybe Gordon might even feel about him the same way he did with that guy. That's unlikely though...

But Benrey still tries to keep his bickering at bay, because he cares for Gordon in his own complicated way, which doesn't sound real. He tries and Gordon pushes him away. God, he feels like a proper asshole for acting the way he did around him, but how was he supposed to know that the guy had a thing for him. You usually act nice around someone you're trying to attract. He can blame it on Benrey not being human, and not understading his own emotions too well, however he doubted that the guy never felt   
love before. 

Gordon sighed, taking off his glasses to put his burning forehead to the window. His fingers deftly ran across the frames of his glasses just to busy his hand with something.  
Two options, huh? Benrey and Tommy.   
The cold glass did nothing to soothe the burning that now spread down to his neck.

Catching a break is something Tommy can't do, apparently. One thing piles on to the other and the next thing you know there's two more problems at your door. Well, one isn't really a problem, it's just really perplexing. The more annoying issue is that he lost him phone, and it feels like it evaporated without a trace. No matter how much he searched he couldn't find anything, not even a clue to where it might be. There's the house phone, of course, but it's inconvenient being in the hallway where a conversarion can be heard in every corner of the house. Benrey isn't really nosy, but he has his moments, so this whole situation is beginning to take a toll on Tommy's nerves. He even tried to call his own number using the house phone, and he did hear a phone ringing, but it sounded like it came from every direction at once. After that failed attempt he questioned Benrey. Yeah, that didn't help either.

Then there's the other thing that was orbiting around Benrey. The guy seemed a tad bit off yesterday after he was sent to search for Gordon and he stayed that way for the rest of the evening, leaving Tommy to believe that they somehow made things worse between each other in that short period of time. In their case it was very plausible. That thought left as quickly as it arrived when he had to extinguish his kitchen in the early bright, because Benrey tried to cook something for breakfast and it backfired. He must have been up extraordinary early, juging from the fact that Tommy woke up to the smell of smoke at 5 am. And even in the dim light he could see that Benrey was looking rather happy. 

Food burned? No problem, bro. Stuff happens. Felt bad yesterday? That was a century ago. Now Benrey looked like dictionary description of a positive person... That's what's perplexing him. Tommy has no clue how he managed to flip back like that. After he bid everyone goodbye last night Benrey was still sitting in the same spot he last saw him, eyes glued to the window with a sad expression in them. Tommy sat next to him, hardly caring about how thick the air felt all around or how foggy the room got, and wraped his arms around him. That soon turned into a bearhug, then a couple of hours later here they are.

Maybe he misread the situation. Maybe nothing happened and Benrey was just sad to see Gordon go. It could be the case. Even after everything that happened the guy cared, heavily cared. Gordon might as well swear him off and Benrey will still follow him around like a puppy. Tommy tested his theory by throwing in a word or two about Gordon while casually chatting with Benrey, extinguisher still in hand after he saved his house from burning down. You know, as you usually do. And Benrey was fine with it. Hell, Tommy doesn't know if he can be not fine with anything right now. One day Benrey is in ruin, the next he's acting like a child who got a truck worth of candy. Tommy was tempted to call Gordon and figure some stuff out, but from obvious resons he didn't. That phone issue is going to drive him mad.

The next day carried out his curiosity with the same kind of passion, albeit a tiny bit slowed, because his brain felt like a useless puddle of goo. He pinned his sleep depravity to the insomnia he suddenly found himself trapped in . It probably didn't help that when he did fall asleep it was in a place that made his entire being hurt the next day. This time it was on the couch, with the TV still blasting some old soap operas. After a quick look around he noticed some things, like how he was freezing to death and that Sunkist was gone. Some part of his conscious brain remembers that the retriever cuddled up with him and Benrey after they passed out from their gaming marathon. He doesn't remember tucking himself in with a blanket though. 

"Yo, uhhhhh. You're up," Tommy jolsted at the sound of Benrey's voice. He peaked his head over the couch, finding Benrey, back turned to him with hands in his pockets, leaning on the doorway and only moving his head to follow Sunkist, who zooming around in circles in the yard. He looked tense "Soo... Is that uhm... 's that normal? Like, you know, he does that a lot? He turned into a bayblade an hour ago and just- just he's like that now."

"Mhm,' Tommy hummed, already trodding over to Benrey. " Th-that's normal."

Benrey puffed out a gusty sigh, his shoulder slumping down from their up tight position. "Shit, whew. I fucking thought I broke your dog, bro."

Tommy stood at his side, mimicking his stance. The height difference was much more dawning with them side to side. " What time is it?" Tommy said while tugging the blanket past his shoulders. It's gotten more cold lately, and looking at how poorly Benrey was dressed made a shiver crawl up Tommy's spine.

"Eehmm," Benrey smacked his lips, "Uhhh-dunno. It's like 5 pm? 6, maybe. We've been out for a while."

Tommy hummed again. Benrey answered the same way. Both stood there for a while, watching how the giant retriever ran in circles. If what Benrey said was true, they slept through the entire day. Call that a medal worthy achievement. But that also meant that there's no way for Tommy to go back and pass out again. "I'm going to have to take him to the dog park."

"That resets him? I've tried everything, even chased him for a whole. It didn't help much."

"Yeah, he'll play with the other dogs. That- that always helps."

"Sick." Benrey pushed himself away from the door and clasped his hands together, "So uh- I'm gonna tap out. Got some business to do, you know."

"What is it?"

"Nahh, it's- it's not important. Just a little something." He gave Tommy a grin, head raising up to meet the others face. "Kinda late on that, also. But yeah, you two have fun. I'm gonna stay home."

With that he turned on his heel to head inside, bumping into Tommy on his way. Tommy shrugged him off with a chuckle, turning back to look at Sunkist. "Ok, just don't-" he tried to add, but Benrey was nowhere to be seen, "Don't use the kitchen."

The cold breeze blew across Tommy's face, making him tug the yellow scarf up to conceal his already red cheeks. His sore fingers, also suffering from the temperature drop, barely hanged onto Sunkist's leash as the big dog tugged him further down the gravel path. Tommy tried to tire Sunkist out at home to save himself this suffering, but his soft heart couldn't handle the thought of taking this opportunity away from the retriever. 

In the past few days Tommy wasn't exactly the best owner, with Benrey being the centre of attention and all that. His fruitless attempts would have continued endlessly if it wasn't for this sudden outbreak of happiness that sprung itself onto Benrey. The guilt was taking a toll on him, keeping him up on certain nights, slowly eating him away, so getting a break granted him some alone time he can spend how he pleases. Tommy doesn't know if he'll ever tell Benrey what happened that night, he doesn't think he needs to anymore. Letting benrey bounce around in his little wonderland wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass.

The cold park bench dragged a hiss out of Tommy as he slumped down onto it after releasing Sunkist to run free. It was awfully convenient to have a dog park this close to you. Just cross the street, turn the corner and here you go. The place wasn't the biggest, but it worked out fine. Some corners hold better memories than the other, Tommy thught as his eyes skipped across that patch of bushes. Through the gaps of almost completely bare branches he saw that same bench, now covered in colorful leaves. 

Someone's laugh dragged those thoughts back down. A crude, but familiar sound... Bubby? How the hell, and where. Tommy quickly found both Bubby and Dr. Coomer sitting not too far away from him. He can only see Bubby's back from here and a part of Dr. Coomer's smiling face. His bright green eyes soon take notice of Tommy's presence and he waves at him, saying something to Bubby that he can't quite hear, but it gets the other scientist to turn around. His face turns from a concerned one to a shocked one and then Tommy is sure he mouthed something along the lines of ,, holy shit", but he hardly cares. It probably describes how he looks and feels like right now the best. Then Dr. Coomer is gesturing him to come over, and yeah, why not. They both appear to be sitting on a blanket of some sort so he'll get to chat with them while warming his frozen ass. Sounds great. And some movement would do him some good, he feels like it would only take a few more minutes before he would just pass out on that bench, and getting pneumonia that way would suck. He doesn't even know if he can get sick. He sure as hell doesn't want to find out this was, though.

"Hello, Tommy!" 

"Don't you look nice and refreshed", Bubby commented while scooting a little closer to Dr. Coomer so Tommy will have a warm place to sit. He takes that chance with a relieved sigh.

"I-Is it that bad?" Tommy slurred out once comfortably settled. Like he said, he hardly cares, but it would be good to know if you looked like a zombie.

Coomer made a drawn out noise, seemingly thinking of a way to gently put this, when Bubby said, "You look like death kicked your ass and then left you to rot."

"Bubby, dear."

"What?"

"Its ok. I don't get enough sleep, that's all," Tommy says. That's partly a lie.

"You sure that's it?" Bubby looked him over, or Tommy thought that he did. Its kind of hard to tell with his thick glasses. "What did you and Benrey do after everyone left? Because you don't exactly seem sober." 

Tommy paused for a while. Ok, he looked like death and he's maybe slurring some words. Both valid points, but c'mon. "Oh no. We didn't drink," he answered while tugging on a loose string on his scarf. " I- I don't think either of us can actually get drunk?"

Bubby looked at him, with an expression that could only be described as someone hearing the biggest bullshit in their whole life. "How the hell does that work?" 

"Some people have higher tolerance, professor." That comment earned Coomer a shoulder punch. 

"No, I-I mean... We can't get drunk. I can't get drunk at all a-and I think the earth stuff is too weak for Benrey."

"Huh. That's pretty handy," Bubby sounded honestly amazed.

"Anyways," said Coomer, leaning towards Tommy, "What are you doing here, Tommy?"

"I came here with Sunkist. Wha- What are you two doing here? Did you come here to Play with dogs?"

"I'm too old to chase some dogs." Bubby crossed his arms.

"I say you're still in remarkable shape, Bubby. I'm pretty impressed with what you're capable of!" said Coomer. A smile creeped up on Bubby's face as he patted Coomer's shoulder. That gesture soon turned into a side hug that Coomer initiated. "We came here with our own dog," he added.

"... You have a dog?"

"Yes! He's a real sweetheart."

Tommy raised his brows, clearly impressed and surprised. His own head turned to the field as he tried to guess which one it may be. There's the big ones, but he doesn't think that they would get one like that. Bubby isn't quite the huge dog loving kind of guy. He tolerates Sunkist, but that's only because the retriever doesn't leave him alone even when Bubby's ingoring him. Then the small ones. Tommy does see Bubby being happy with a chihuahua or something like that. His eyes start wondering over the small pups. All of them looked cute, but they didn't quite look like they were worthy candidates. A blur zoomed past his eyes and he has to take a double take. Did he just see a goddamn small poodle chase a greyhound. Yes, yes he did. The small bouncing bundle of fluff was chasing a dog twice its size. It was barking like crazy, making the tag at its collar jingle loudly.

"Fuck them up, Kratos!" Bubby yelled, his mouth forming into a toothy grin, showing off his sharp teeth.

"Kratos?" Tommy asked. He couldn't pry his eyes away from the scene before him. It felt like it would disappear if he stopped staring.

"Oh, We wanted to name him something nice-"

"-So we named him after a kickass game character!" Bubby said in between riling up the small poodle.

Tommy could only nod along. The feisty personality the dog had, and how eager he was to fight soon explained why the name was choosen. A not very fitting name for a dog that size that actually fits perfectly. Huh.  
Some question rise in his mind. Since when? For how long? Tommy hardly guessed that they would ever get a dog, for no particular reason. It just didn't occur to him that it would happen. Seeing that ball of fluff soon switch to running after Sunkist sure did change his mind. How does a dog that small reach such speeds? 

Please let that do the trick, Tommy thought, watching both dogs run around. He's way too tired to take good care or Sunkist, and Benrey has better things to do than take over his possition. Or it seems like it. Either his busy, or tired, which doesn't seem true. The busy part? Maybe. Not the tired part. 

But low and behold, Tommy is the one that's too tired to give a crap at this point. He turned to look at Bubby and Coomer, sitting, looking all pleased and content. They look great together. They get along, and they probably talk about their problems with each other. Basic communication that adults are capable of. It's not that hard, but it sure as hell is to some people. 

Problems are meant to be talked about so things can go back to normal, or at least look like they are back to that. Even serious problems are like that. Maybe some conversation would fix things up, but no. Better hold the grudge like some kind of treasure. 

This situation is draining him to the point where it's becoming an obstacle to everyone around him. Including Benrey. The source becomes troubled, would you look at that. They could be as happy as Bubby and Coomer. They know they could be, but this problem holds no exit. He's going to be stuck like this till the end of time. He loves them both, he truely does. A true friend always does. But please, just please, can he be spared at this point. Can he have what Bubby and Coomer have? Some peace. Anything.

"So," Bubby cutted through the silence that setteled in and turned to Tommy, "Did he say anything yet?"

"Huh? Who?"

"Benrey. We all saw how he acted. Something must have happened." A malicious smile spreaded across Bubby's face.

Tommy swallowed and untangled his hand out of his hair. He clutched his hand shut, seeing some ripped out locks resting on his palm. His other hand reached up to comb his fingers through his hair. "I-I was thinking about that too, but i have no clue why he's so happy," he croaks out.

"Happy? He looked like dog shit when we left."

"Yeah, bu-but he's feeling better"

"Its great that he's happy, Tommy," Coomer said while placing a hand on Tommy's shoulder. 

"Y-Yeah, I know. But I dunno why."

"Ugh, I expected some drama." Coomer tightened his arm around Bubby. He made an over dramatic gasp when the squeezing ceased. "What? There's nothing happening with them. Nothing I tell you! They act like gay peacocks only if one of them was having a constant panic attack when the other made a move. And it goes both ways!" 

"Gay chickens, then!" Bubby thought for a second before nodding along to what Coomer said.

Tommy bored his eyes into them. He bit his lip, hesitation crawling up to him.   
Can he tell them? It would help a little. They are scientists, that makes them smart, right? And he needs someone smart to help him with this. Gordon wouldn't mind. He won't even know this happened. " I- I uh, don't know if the'll work with eachother even if they cooperate."

"Why is that? I say there're a pretty good team. They almost beat us in bowling!" 

"They weren't even close," Bubby said while smirking. 

"That's because... Gordon is straight." Both elder scientists looked at each other, then back at Tommy before the giggling began. Coomer must have thought it was especially funny, as his booming laughter only gained in volume. "What?" Tommy added, "He told me that."

Bubby shook his head, fixed his glasses and said, "He's going through the seven stages of grief, but his dumbass head is stuck on the first one."

"Its rather easy to see, Tommy," Coomer squeezed the hand on his shoulder before pulling it back to wipe a tear out of his eye.

"What? A-and seven stages?" Tommy tilted his head, rightfully dumbfounded.

Bubby tsked, "Whatever. Seven or five, there's no difference. And please: A divorced guy in a group of friends where he knows that one of them has it out for him. It's only a matter of time."

Tommy sat there, not moving, trying to soak everything in as his mouth kept opening and closing in a futile attempt to form a coherent question. Coomer gusted out another brethless chuckle, still amused. 

"Dad," the whisper called out to him, greatly subdued by the pillow he put his head under, "Dad!" 

"Mmhm?"

"Dad, c'mon! Wake up!"

"Mmn." Gordon grumbled back. He heard an annoyed whine, then some ruffling and furniture moving. Then he doubled over as something heavy landed directly onto his stomach.

"You're up!" Small hands grabbed his face. They squished his cheeks until Gordon cracked one eye open to look at his attacker. He is welcomed by Joshua's satisfied face being way too close to his own. Gordon grabbed him under his arms and lifted him off effortlessly. "Noooo! C'mon dad! It's almost two already!"

That got Gordon to liven up more. "What?" He deadpanned, hand reaching towards the night stand. The glasses he was searching for are pushed onto his face, then his cheeks get grabbed again. Now he can see his son's determined look better. "No it's not," Gordon said, sure of himself.

"Daaaaadd! You promised!"

"My alarm didn't ring."

"It did," Joshua pointed at the red alarm clock on the floor, "You knocked it over."

"Oh shiiii... Crap. I'm sorry Joshie," Gordon fixed his glasses. He scratched his beard, looked at the clock on the floor again then tried his hardest to smile through the pain that consumed his entire abdomen, "Look, gimme a moment. I'm going to change and then we'll go. Ok?"

Joshua looked at him with a pout. Gordon mirrored the look. They had a short staring contest before Gordon tilted his head and started to pout harder, making Joshua crack a smile. His voctory was short lived as Joshua took in a deep breath, turned on his heel and stomped out the door. The groan he let out could still be heard as he reached the end of the hallway. Gordon waited a moment to ensure that his son was far away to let out his own sounds of suffering as he doubled over in pain again. What a nice thing to wake up to. 

He opened the door a couple of minutes later, fully dressed. On his way he stepped into the bathroom, just to see if he doesn't look completely like dog shit. Hair looks decent. No stains on this shirt. Eh, the bags under his eyes look a tad bit more visible today, but that can be taken care of with sunglasses. There isn't much sun anymore, but who cares. Call that a fashion choice or something.

"Oh, dad!" He heard Joshua's voice through the slightly cracked open bathroom door.

"Yes?" Gordon scratched his beard, raising his brow. This is getting a bit too long. His hands reached for the cabinet as the door opened more to reveal Joshua already dressed in his coat and boots. "Your phone was buzzing a lot," he said and took the phone out of his pocket.

"Hmm. Thanks, bud," Gordon ruffled Joshua's hair and took his phone. The screen was locked and had a message displayed, saying it's his last try to get the right password in. "Hey-"

"-Dad, c'mon! You look fine. Stop looking in the mirror and let's goooooooo!"

Joshua stormed out the room, dragging Gordon behind him by his not occupied hand. He was let go at the door, Joshua gripping the handle and impatiently tapping his foot. His cheeks were a bit puffed as he tried his best to fake an angry face. 

Cute. 

Gordon rolled his eyes with a grin and set to work on dressing himself up. He barely managed to pull his boots up, when Joshua opened the door and ran down the hall, throwing all kinds of childish puns at Gordon for being slow. He never meant any of it, but he knew it boiled something inside of Gordon and got him to pick his game up. 

It wasn't early by all means, so he didn't have to worry about waking his neighbors with his loud steps. From the sound of it, Joshua was already at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Gordon. As he was walking down to meet up with his son, Gordon tried to unlock his phone with one hand. Before Joshua dragged him towards the exit, he read his notifications. He smiled as his eyes focused on one of them.  
8 messages from Tommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHOS BACK ON THEIR BULLSHIT. Hell Yeah I'm still alive and im gonna be surprised if anyone still remembers about this trainwreck.  
> Let me tell you this chapter didnt take me this long just the shit in my life rn sort of prolonged my work on this AND im heavily sorry for that. Im gonna try and pick up the pace with this to maybe end it before the year ends but i'm a incompetent gremlin with short memory so we'll see.


	7. Chapter 7

"It would be better if you were here."

His claws almost sunk into the plastic cup clutched in his hand, miniature holes leaking the cold liquid down his fingers and onto the grass below. That sounded too aggressive. It probably did. Way to fuck it up, Benrey. You messed it up while trying to maintain the same cool you had back then and now you're over here repeating your mistakes, like an insane person. 

His yellow eyes stayed on the three dots moving up and down under his last message, feeling more and more hesitant as they kept disappear. It was already such a chore to focus his eyes on the tiny screen, let alone decode the font Tommy chose as his default. Squiggle on squiggle. How the hell does he even read this? Sooner or later, those shenanigans will cause him to go blind. That will be a worthy punishment for achieving what he did. 

At least he'll match with Gordon.   
Glasses buddies.

Benrey is surprised how the guy sees anything with them at all. He nabbed them off of him one night, when the idiot was damn near comatose from stressing out over minor stuff all day long. Hands grow back, only his one took its sweet time just to add some drama to their already troublesome escape. Either way, the lenses were smudged to shit, but even without that inconvenience he still had trouble seeing anything, no matter how closely he looked at it. They didn't really fit his face so he looked extra stupid with them barely hanging onto the bridge of his nose. It felt nice to wear something that Gordon owned, though.

Before he sent that God awful message, they were chatting together as normal people usually do. Except those normal people don't try to catfish each other. Benrey managed to convince Bubby to give him and Coomer a little break from hauling boxes around, and he used it to try and smooth things down a little. Gordon seemed to be just lounging down and watching some old films with his son so he wasn't bothering him that much. 

It was hard enough as it was to try and come up with anything at all to send to Gordon without outright helping him realize that some shit was off. However, Benrey liked to think that he mastered the way of copying Tommy's weird way of texting. Smash some useless emotes here, over exaggerate this and just overall act like a ray of sunshine. The last part was hard.

Benrey chewed on the straw of his drink as he thought about how many times he bit his tongue to save himself from messing up more than he already did, and was it hard with this guy. There were so many times that Gordon would write something downright silly that old Benrey would grip onto like it was some sort of treasure, constantly digging it up whenever he wanted to make Gordon sound stupid in a failed attempt to bring them closer. Sometimes it worked, and he even got a laugh out of him, but the majority of the time it ended with Gordon narrowing his eyes and walking away. Benrey wouldn't hear the end of it if he kept going like that. Getting on the positive side in someones eyes was harder than it looked.

Now, with that new knowledge, Benrey was approaching this with a different plan of attack; he tried to smother him with complements. Yes, he remembered about what he saw that unfortunate night There's no way that he wouldn't. It hurt him, and he stayed aching even now. But saving whatever he had with Gordon, even if it was platonic, would put him a little closer to the desires he once held. Most of them were scrapped after that night. And to think that he tried so hard to fix things. No matter, he'll try harder. Just being in a room with Gordon, where he doesn't push him away and swear him off... That's his main goal, he'll go to hell and back to get. In a platonic way. Ouch.

Soaking the withering grass with his drink won't do anyone any justice, so he turned his head around to peek through the sliding glass door, just to see if Bubby was standing there and impatiently waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing. Instead, he saw both him and Coomer crouching near one of the heavy boxes they carried from the attic. Coomer would have thrown them down if Bubby let him, but apparently they were important. 

They said very little about what they were planning to do with all of them. Benrey thought they would build a box fort or something. Turns out that some old stuff Coomer stashed away was in them. Not the epic stuff they found in Black Mesa, like guns or maybe some explosives. It still got them pretty pumped up.

Benrey stood up from the wooden porch, he used as a quick lounging space and hid the phone in his hoodie. Another article of clothing he got from Tommy, but this time he was forced to wear it. Some stuff about it being too cold for him to walk around in his old clothes. The Black Mesa guard suit was thrown out almost immediately when he took it off, and yeah, he would have thrown it out also to pry himself away from that place for good, however that left him with nothing more than a few things Tommy shared with him. They were all too big. How can they not be when Tommy easily towered over him?  
The dark hoodie he was wearing right now had to be the closest to his size, so he wore it almost everyday. It had big pockets, too. Big enough to hide Tommy's phone. Benrey knew that it was a shit move to pull when he could have just gotten himself a phone instead of taking advantage of his best friends trust. It would have worked out better for Tommy, that's for sure. 

Benrey thought his plan failed before it even began when Tommy suddenly asked him to go search the house with him and Sunkist. The dog probably knew about this, but kept it a secret. Why? Who the fuck knows. Benrey saw Sunkist snooping around the pile of clothes he hid the phone in and yet he walked away like he didn't detect anything suspicious. That helped, and Benrey's pretty sure that he owed him something for that. 

The glass door slid out of his way with some resistance, but Bubby said that it was like that for a long time. He then started an argument about how it wouldn't be like that it someone fixed it. It would breach the fine linę of being an argument if Coomer wasn't cooing about how adorable Bubby looked with his fire powers acting up. That's the day Benrey found out that Bubby create fire whenever he pleased, and that his hair is fireproof. It had to be, with the way it was lit up then, the ends fully aflame while the rest of it was glowing in its bright shine. That deescalate their argument pretty fast.

Benrey felt the phone buzz as he paused to stand next to the older scientists to look at what they were tinkering with. Bad timing, he thought. He was just about to turn back, thinking that he still had some break time, when Bubby spoke up to get his attention.

"And where do you think you're going?" Bubby sounded more chipper than in the morning, however the venom in his voice could still be heard.

"Nowhere. What's poppin'? Found something cool?"

"Indeed, we have!" Commer said, enthusiastic as ever. "Look at this!"

His biceps flexed with the effort of pulling out an old metal box out of the dust stained case. It looked more sturdy than the boxes they were carrying around all afternoon, and its inside was smudged with some dark dirt. Even though it looked heavy, Coomer held it in place for Benrey to get a good look at it, his arms didn't even budge from the added weight. That old man's strength both impressed and worried Benrey. 

"Ummm... What is it?" Benrey asked after observing the thing for a while.

"A grill! You might have not seen them in Black Mesa." 

"You can burn stuff on it," Bubby added with a grin on his face.

"You can cook stuff on it," Commer corrected him, "But yes, you can also burn stuff with it."

"Cool. Whatchu need it for?" Benrey walked around the other side to kneel down and take a closer look at the inside of the box. He brushed his fingers across the darker patches of that black dust, "And what's this?" 

"It's coal, or what remained of it. But we're not gonna need it with my fire powers. They don't run out like it does." A Tiny flame irked to life in Bubby's palm. He closed his hand around it and the entire hand caught on fire in a matter of few seconds. 

"Very impressive, dear!" 

"Sick. You guys gonna use this stuff soon?"

Coomer stood up, the case in his hands, and turned to the porch Benrey was just sitting on. "Not yet, but an opportunity may soon arrive," he said whilst carrying the heavy box outside. 

They spent some time trying to figurę out how to put the machine together. Bubby was watching from the sidelines after being disqualified for burning the instruction book to ashes before they even began. They put it together relatively quickly, even with that added disadvantage. 

The sun was setting at unbelievable hours now. You can barely see shit, Jesus Christ. And people walk around, barely phased, like this is the most normal thing in this planet. Benrey shouldn't really be surprised that they don't care since they don't act like there is nothing inherently wrong with the way all the trees just died. The leaves were still hanging on when they escaped, now they're crunching underneath his shoes as he walks down the street in almost complete darkness. If he was human he would mind the lack of street lights, but with his eyes being much better than the ones humans possessed he hardly cared. Sure, when he did step into the light of any lone street lamp his eyes hurt like hell. It was like walking into a bright room when you have night vision goggles on your face.

People in this place seem to act like nothing is really out of the ordinary. They had to know something he wasn't aware of, and they were keeping it hidden until the last moments. For all that he knows, this can all be a sign that this world is going to reset. There was no room for them to panic since they knew how to survive it. Coomer survived for a long time before Benrey scoped him out in one of his shifts at Black Mesa, if you can even call them that.

Back then, he was just snooping around the place in a form that wouldn't disturb anyone he stumbled across. In the beginning it was to keep a low profile and maybe scout the place out before he attacked. They opened his portal, not him. So, going by that logic, it would have been their fault. That huge company would have survived some casualties either way, judging from all the reports he read whilst jumping from one body to another. Benrey didn't think about keeping them, no way in hell. That's disgusting even by his standards. He just had to get a good look at how they all work. Wouldn't wanna arrive there one day looking like the eldrich horror he was. He wanted to have the element of surprise.

That was the way he wasted a couple of years in his life, because it turned out that humans are a lot more complicated than they seem. He possessed easier creatures back in his own little dimension. This looked more and more like a bad joke the longer his plans got prolonged. When he borrowed one of the scientists to look at some biology books they were all scribbled to shit with useless information that wasn't even seen by the eye until you cut someone open. At that time he expected everything from humans, but his gut feeling told him that it wasn't the best way to greet someone and that they won't have to cut him open if he'll act normal. 

That was also a challenge. All the pompous fucks in that place acted like they were the centre of the goddamn universe. Benrey wouldn't learn a thing about communicating if he stayed on those old pricks. With them IT was constantly asking people to do their job for them and hiding it beneath a kind request add something along the lines of that. 

Switching to the guards was a much better idea. One of them, that he decided to stay on a little longer, for no reason whatsoever suddenly got out one day. He said something that sounded like "vacation". When he said that the guards at the door let him through, grabbed his badge and all the heavy guard equipment they were tasked to haul around all day, and he was free to go. If Benrey didn't decide to sit that one out and watch from within, he would have likely been tackled. It was around the time he didn't quite care about getting to know his hosts, so the suspicions would double already. They also walked through some weird machine that was apparently supposed to detect any stolen or unnatural things the person walking through it carried. Good thing the years of practice didn't go go waste and the machine didn't notice him. 

The guy died after he went back to Black Mesa. It was kind of a sad death; sitting around on the ground in some dingy hall he was forced to monitor when he abruptly fell to his knees and couldn't get up for hours. His voice wasn't loud enough to catch anyones attention. It didn't help that he was in an almost abandoned sector of the facility. Benrey was half tempted to help since the crying that started to emit out of him when his insides were shutting down was tugging at him from every direction, but he knew that if he intervened it would only cause more trouble. 

After a while, his voice went out and he was dragging out those hoarse croaks that still revrebated in Benrey's head from time to time. That's why he didn't like taking a human as a host. They made all those horrible noises as they started breaking from Benrey overusing their systems a little too much. In Xen things didn't cry or beg for their life. They just died. The scientists found him nearly unconscious on the ground. That's the other thing he didn't like about humans. Some of them have enough fight stashed away somewhere to shove his influence away for long periods of time. It was a curse in disguise, because that fight made a part of their senses shut off completely when they were nearing their end. With this guy it was enough to drag his decomposing body to the elevator he came from. If it wasn't for that blasted machine not working fast enough the guy would still be walking around.

But, if you squint, his death wasn't done bad. He lived a good life... Ok, the death was bad, Ok, the death was bad, Benrey can admit that, but his life was still awesome. He had to be one of the hosts he barely messed with. Sitting back and enjoying the view was a handy little thing he could do. That guy had a lot of friends Benrey learned all this shit from. Learning English was easy, he mastered that on his third day, however the way particular human carried themselves was something he struggled with the most. After the guy went on his vacation, Benrey learned almost everything in that short week. He can thank the guard for getting him where he was now. He used to be friends with that Barney guy, after all. 

Benrey didn't mess with him much, he watched from the sidelines, enjoyed the way the talked and how freely he did that. His name was nice, his form looked nice. It was a hard battle to not tackle the guy immediately and take over, but taking that perfect shell and breaking it because he had no clue how to keep a host alive long enough for their body to adapt to him was just dumb. Benrey tested his limits on the others, and soon enough he was walking around. Actually him, not a puppet. The form suited him, and he might have stolen something from that Barney guy, like his name and appearance. 

Not fully, though. He was still alive. With Black Mesa you can round the corner and see the biggest government secrets lurking down the hall, but Benrey thinks that Barney would lose his shit if the saw a replica of himself walking around and talking to people like it didn't even care about his existence. No, that would be too much. Just grab that, tweak this and boom. A copy that was butchered on purpose. He didn't even notice when they weren't in the same room for too long. That's a win in Benrey's book.

The point was that the weather didn't change much when he got to freely walk around Black Mesa, and it didn't change when he passed that guy. It was all green. Now shit is dying. He probably dragged that analogy for a little too long, but you have to think about something when you're walking in darkness and you can't stare at the things around you for too long if you don't want to trip. From the looks of it, he was getting closer to Tommy's house. Nice. A little cardio never killed nobody.

Benrey thought about sprinting down the street for some time now. It would be in his Xen form. You know, give those conspiracy theorist on his street something to think about for a while. Regardless, dragging attention to their position wouldn't be the smartest thing to do. Not like there was anyone actively looking for them. He opted for something more mild, like digging the phone out of his hoodie to Play some games Tommy had on his phone. The notification on the screen reminded him of his past actions relatively quickly. Benrey slowed down his walk as his eyes carefully analyzed what was on the screen. Shit, he forgot about this.  
He opened the phone after the panic died down a little.

"Aww, c'mon now. You're making me soft with this shit."

There was a heart Emoji right under that.

"Oh, shit," Benrey muttered.

"Benrey?"

He almost threw the phone when he heard that deep voice. They stood and stared at each other, only a white picketed fence standing between them.

"Yo...?" Benrey was unable to keep the Goofy smile off of his face for long. At this point everything was flowing freely around him and he was tired of trying to stop it.

The state Gordon trapped him with was hidden behind his glasses, and oh how nice they looked in this low lighting. This would have felt uncomfortably familiar if Gordon didn't break the cycle by walking towards him. "What are you doing here?" 

"W-walking," Benrey backed up to lean against the light post, trying his hardest to look as chill as he possibly could. His voice greatly betrayed him. "Just taking a stroll... Yep."

"You know what I mean," Gordon said. He dragged a hand down his face when Benrey looked at him, as if to ask for a clue. "Why are you here?" 

"Ooh. Yeah, I live here." 

"What?"

"Yeah, Tommy lives not far away from here." Benrey gestured to the was he was walking before this lovely coincidence occurred, "Like uh... 30 minutes that way or some shit." 

"Huh. I thought this place looked familiar." Gordon stopped at the white fence and leaned his weight against it. This up close Benrey could see the thoughtful look on Gordon's tired face.

"... What are you doing here, bro?" 

"Why would you care?" That same look returned to his face. That same one he held every time something was getting on his nerves.

Benrey averted his gaze away from him to look at his shoes, then while walking away, he said, "You don't have to tell me. I'm not pushing you."

"Wait, no!" He stopped to see a more distressed look he never seen Gordon with. 

"Look that's not what I- ok wait. I'm moving here?" 

"... For real?" 

"Yes, for real." 

"Huh...." Gordon expected a much more hectic response. That sounded more like a kicked puppy than the Benrey he grew to tolerate... Jesus, he's got sappy. "Only that?" he said, leaning over the fence more to try and read Benrey's face, "That's your response?"

"Well, yeah? I can't do much with it if you don't wanna see me." 

"Wha- When did I say that." 

"It shows." That was like getting stabbed in the gut. Back then he would have said that it's good that he at least knows that. Right now that felt like adding the final nail to the coffin. Here lies Gordons massive ego that destroyed him from the inside bit by bit. Nice going, jackass. "No, Benrey.... Look, I don't hate you. I'm..."

"Yeah, ok. I don't need your pity-"

"-Let me finish." Gordon was standing behind him, hand gripping his claws in an attempt to stop him. The blind fear they stroked in him was still present somewhere deep back into his consciousness, yet the way his head turned to him to show those sad eyes made Gordon kick that fear in its face. "I don't hate you, I just need some time to think about how I feel about all of this." 

"What is there to feel about?"

"You are being back, for example." Benrey looked down at their hands with a guilt ridden expression. He gave Gordon a good squeeze, which bordered the fine line of being a little bit too painful, but he powered through it, and after a brief moment of consideration, he curtly nodded. "So like I said. I don't hate you, even if you think I do. I just need some time to think." 

"And some space?" 

"No," With their hands do close together, he could see the barely noticeable size difference. How his own hands were more calloused than Benreys. Gordon let his hand go before his mind wondered anywhere else, feeling how Benrey tried to hołd back the urge to grab it back. He didn't have it in him to meet his eyes. Mostly because their eerie glow still sends shivers down his spine, but also because this situation was way too tense for him. He hated being vulnerable like this. His mixed feelings towards both Benrey and Tommy didn't help much with the close proximity they were standing together. Gordon puts some steps between them, just in case Benrey wanted an easy way to back away from this, and tried to lighten the mood back up, "And what, you have something in mind we can do? Not something weird, I hope."

"Wasn't thinking about anything weird." His yellow eyes stayed looking down, being fully laser focused on his own hand. "And I dunno. If you feel up for it, then maybe we can play something..." The probability of Gordon having any game console was miniscule. He didn't look around his apartment much, trying to keep at least a sliver of respect for Gordons privacy, but he remembered the lack of any gaming device. "Oooor we watch a scary movie. You can come over to Tommy and all that shit. A movie night." 

"He does have a huge tv... You know what? If he's fine with it then ok." 

"He should be fine with it. He likes you too, bro." Gordon felt his heart tighten at that word. It was obvious, why are you panicking now, you big idiot. Benrey is here and he has a crush on you and he just asked you to spend the night with him and Tommy and-  
"Sick. Gr-Great. You're on then."

"Hell yeah."

Benrey made finger guns in his direction before he passed through the ground. In the last second his head was still visible and above the ground Gordon heard him say, "It's a date!"

He punctuated the last word with an exited yell that got cut off in the middle, his head being fully under the sidewalk. Gordon felt his blood boil, for different reasons that usually.

A lot of things happened after Benrey forced him to stay home for the day. Not very breathtaking things, it was happening inside his house after all. Even with its size, there wasn't much to do when you were tasked to relax and finally sleep, do you wouldn't look like a sleep deprived sloth. Benrey's words, not his. Tommy got bored of playing with his own echo after not even five minutes, and he couldn't take Sunkist out anywhere, because he didn't quite know when Benrey will get back from doing his monthly good chore. That's a thing he does now. A lot of times he said that its proving to everyone that he on fact can change, but no one really needed any evidence at this point. They all knew that if Benrey went back to revenge half the city would be destroyed now. He has been just chilling around, although he still insisted on doing that. It was nice. He didn't really start doing many things, since it was only a monthly good chore, but the thought he put on there was still lingering. 

Stuff did get interesting when he came back, though. Like how he suddenly appeared jest to him on the floor. Tommy already knew that he could do that so it didn't surprise him. What did surprise him was the way he was screaming into the pillow right now.  
He waited until the screaming ceased, Benrey presumably taking in a deep breath to continue, and then he leaned closer to him and asked, voice still wrak after his failed nap attempts, "You feeling ok?"

Even with the pillow smushing his head, Tommy could hear a quiet, "Yes."

Tommys hand reached out to pull the fluffy thing a little away from his face to hear the answer better, "What happened?" 

"Eehmm... Some shit, you know," Benrey mumbled. The pillow was thrown away from him haphazardly, and now Tommy could see the giddy look on Benreys face, "Hey, can I Ask you something? Pretty please?" 

"Go ahead." 

"Can Gordon come over?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION  
> No this is not me saying that im abandoning this, don't you worry. I'm gonna try to make this long ass thing as short as i can.  
> There's gonna be another book(not hlvrai sorry, please keep reading rather way) that im going to post on two platforms. If you're asking why then that's bc it was originally supposed to be only on one BUT then this place came along and i actually for some ppl to notice my existence here so ye. This will be my attempt to drag some of you to that fandom(honest to God if I'll succed I'll sell my kindey) bc its just going to be my take on the story line of this game {i will add my own twists dont worry}Chapters of that may pop up more often bc inspiration hit me like a truck and she aint letting go)  
> ALSO help me if you can bc i wanna make post that can inform you guys if there will be a drought like this any time soon(without spamming useless information filled chapters or just writing it in notes) so if you have any ideas then pls help, actually do bc this long pause made me feel like a jackass.  
> Thanks for reading(all my shit not only this) and I'll see you in the next book od in the next chapter!


End file.
